My Princessa

Chapter 66

Dad asked my brothers to leave us for some time and I was pretty nervous because I knew but this conversation could entail. l didn't want to talk about my kidnapping or what happened there. l just couldn't as yet.
He just woke up and l didn't have the strength to tell him that I was leaving or at least that I want to leave for a little bit, and how could l. Dad was used to having my annoying self always around him and l didn't want to take that from him but at the same time it is imperative that l leave this place.
"so how are you really "dad asked. l couldn't help but smile because he knew me better than everyone else. He knew that my smile was fake before even told him. Maybe leaving wasn't going to be such a bad thing, maybe he could come with me.
"I am not okay but I'll live "I said holding his hand.
"I don't want you to just live, I want you to be happy "he said smiling at me.
"And I won't be happy here, you know that right? "Are you said looking at him hopefully wishing that he understood what I was trying to say.
"I know "he said with a morose look. By the look on his eyes they could tell he understood. I could tell he thought exactly what I thought, I didn't know if I should feel relieved that he understood or angry that he also wanted me to leave.
"You'll never be happy here, my enemies will always target you first because you're my weakness. You can see what happened in your absence. Your brothers were shattered because you weren't here.
I don't want to do this but it's the most logical explanation and answer to all our questions. I don't want you to live with the trauma and the grief like your nonna does, you deserve better. You deserve the world "he said with unshod tears in his eyes.
"Then come with me "l said and he looked at me sympathetically.
"You know l can't " he said.
"Elonzo will take care of my brothers in your absence or we will visit them constantly "l said.
"No my Princessa, l can't leave them to this mess or this life, l doomed them by letting them carry this legacy and l won't leave them alone to carry the burden." He said but even though he made sense l couldn't take it. It was bad enough having to go leaving my brothers and now my dad no l couldn't.
"So l will basically be alone" l said sorrowfully.
"No ,l am coming with " we both turned our heads to look at nonna who stood at the threshold with tears streaming down her face.
"Madre" dad said looking as surprised as l felt right now. Nonna was the foundation of this family and without her everything and everyone would lose order.
"l have too much grief and anger right now, l can't stand to look at every male in this family without feeling disappointed and disgusted "she said and dad flinched because of her words.
"But Padre-----"
"He is the root of all this "she said angrily before dad could finish what he wanted to say.

...

I couldn't sleep the whole night thinking about about leaving, it wasn't just about leaving the city or this country ,I was leaving my brothers behind ,my father, my cousins, my uncles and my grandfather and better yet I was leaving my mother whom l wasn't even allowed to meet.
I hate that I'm the one that supposed to leave, I hate that they get to stay and enjoy their lives with their families while my family is broken apart. They've taken everything from us and they continue to take but I know that we will give the befitting reply.
My family maybe part of the mafia but they are good people. A man loves his family just like my father does can never be a bad man. Boston once called my father a monster but a monster is what I see when I look in his eyes or his fathers eyes.
In the morning the goodbye was the saddest moment of my life. My cousins ,my uncles and my aunts were all here faster. They all had unshed tears and they're eyes.
"I don't know how long I am supposed to be gone but I hope I get to come back soon" l said to all my pain filled brothers. Honestly I wasn't sure and I was supposed to come back home but I know that when l am ready l will.
"do you have to go "Alex said and my heart cracked a bit.
"You know I do "I said putting him in an embrace. This was probably our last hug for a short while. I was going to miss Alex the most. After we lived with our mother we had built a relationship. We had grown closer and I didn't think that someday I would have to leave without him ,but like dad said it was for the best.
I wanted to live with my brothers and my father more than anything in the world but there were so many memories here, memories they wanted to forget, people I needed to forget. I have been hurt for so long, it's almost like me misery and sorrow chose me, I never get any happiness and it's all l have truly ever wanted.
"l will miss you" Leonardo said hugging me and l couldn't help but squeeze him.
"My turn" Leone said prying me from Leonardo who clearly didn't want to say goodbye.
"l love you "he mumbled in my ear for me alone to hear and l smiled wiping my tears.
"Spread your wings and fly little one" Elonzo said giving me a sad smile and l teared up yet again.
When it was time to say goodbye to dad l felt my heart constrict.
"It's okay my princessa, this isn't goodbye" he said hugging me closer to him.
"I'll miss you, I will miss you the most daddy, you have given me nothing but love and you have given me everything. If there's anything in this world that I don't doubt then it's your love for me. I am a very lucky girl to have a dad like you. I know that you feel like you didn't keep me safe but I only feel safe when I'm in your arms.
Don't blame yourself for this, none of this was your fault, don't spare them dad make them pay, take away everything they cherish the most ,break their family apart like they did ours. Make sure they know what happens when you mess with the De Luca family.

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