Always Been You- Eli Moskowitz

Chapter 4- Don't Give Up

"Seeing isn't believing.
Believing is faith, believing is hope,
Believing is love; for others,
For yourself.
Believing is action and effort,
Humility and truth.
Believing is behind the scenes;
Of triumph and happiness,
Of chaos and fear.
And if not for believing,
How do we see at all?"
-Lexi Beck

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It was now Sunday and the twins sat on the couch in the living room while their mom grabbed Miguel another ice pack for his ribs and a glass of orange juice. They hadn't had the chance to discuss the events of the dance amongst themselves as their mom decided to take off work on Saturday to tend to Miguel's injuries. Not that it would have made a difference to Michelle. She had been uncharacteristically quiet with her family since the night of the dance. She couldn't stop her mind from flashing the images of that night over and over. Everyone was so worried about Miguel that no one even seemed to notice the daze that she had been in since Johnny had brought them home. No one even noticed that she hadn't spoken a word. No one noticed.

Michelle thought that maybe it was a good thing that all of the attention was on her brother. She didn't know how to tell anyone what had happened to her. How would she even begin to say it and to who? How could she look her mother or her family in the eyes and tell them how disgusting she felt from the mere idea that someone put their hands on her and tried to take advantage? So after quietly sobbing in the shower that night, she decided to keep it to herself. Nobody had to know how helpless and pathetic she was. That was the first secret she would ever keep from Miguel. How fucked up is that?

"Miggy, why don't you tell me who did this?" Carmen asked softly as she sat on the coffee table in front of the couch. "I'll call the school. They can protect you," she finished.

"It will only make things worse, mama," Miguel replied.

"Worse than this?" Carmen asked.

Michelle watched as Miguel rolled his eyes and shook his head, frustrated that their mom just wouldn't understand. "Yes. If i just had more lessons, then maybe I'll..." Miguel started but was quickly interrupted by their mother with a slight raise of her voice.

"No!" She said angrily while raising her hand to tell him to stop talking about it. "No more karate," She finished. Michelle had a feeling that was the end of that conversation for now. Their grandma soon came over to try and convince their mom that karate was good for them but Michelle had already zoned out.

Miguel reached over with his right and and grabbed Michelle's from where she had it rested on the pillow she was holding in her arms. This brought her back to reality as she looked over at Miguel with a confused face. He gave her a soft smile and squeezed her hand which she kindly returned. Miguel wasn't sure what had happened to his sister but he knew it had to be really bad. He has never seen her act in such a quiet, twitchy and spaced out way. She hasn't even said a word, he thought. But he also wasn't going to push her to tell him. She would tell him on her own time. Or so he hoped.

After their mom had left for work, the twins sat outside in the courtyard enjoying some time in the sun after being cooped up the last 2 days. They were just scrolling on their phones when Johnny came out of his apartment. Miguel stood up quickly as if that was exactly what he had been waiting for the whole time. Michelle stayed sitting in her spot, she had no intention of trying to force her way back into karate. Not after what happened.

"Hey, Sensei. My mom said that we cant train with you anymore..." Miguel said as he followed Johnny over to where his car was parked. Michelle couldn't hear the rest of the conversation and she wasn't interested in hearing it either. She set her phone down next to her, leaning her head against the water fountain that was in the middle of the courtyard and watched the interaction from afar. As the conversation came to an end, Johnny made eye contact with Michelle. She wasn't sure how, but the moment their eyes locked, she had the strangest feeling that he knew what happened to her that night. He looked her over with worry on his face and then turned around, got into his car and drove away.