in the quiet sanctuary of a small-town church, two souls from different worlds collide. yunjin, a gay girl with a vibrant spirit, finds herself navigating the rigid expectations of her conservative family. each sunday, she seeks solace in the church...
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chapter twenty one ʚ ✮ ɞ
yunjin sat curled up on the edge of her bed, her knees pulled tightly to her chest as if she could fold herself into something so small that she might disappear. the room was dark, the only light coming from the faint glow of her phone screen resting beside her, still open to the last message from chaewon. she wiped the back of her hand across her cheeks, trying to steady her breathing, but the lump in her throat wouldn't go away. every time she swallowed, it was as if her chest tightened more, suffocating her in her own fear.
her heart raced with every passing second. the silence of the house only made the anxiety worse. she could hear the distant creaks of the floorboards, the ticking of the clock—every little noise magnified the dread that had been gnawing at her for hours.
he wasn't home yet, but she knew he would be. he always came back. and when he did, it would be worse. it was always worse after he'd been cooled off after his first set—always coming back for more.
yunjin shivered, pressing her forehead against her knees. the tears wouldn't stop, no matter how hard she would attempt. she hated this—hated feeling so weak, hated that her body betrayed her like this—so vulnerable, so weak, so fucking pathetic. she should've been stronger by now, she should've learned how to shut it all out and just pretend that it was never a big deal. but the fear was always there, creeping in, taking root, paralyzing her.
she could still hear his voice from him yelling at her, accusing her of things she hadn't done, blaming her for things she couldn't control. and then the slap—that felt like a punch and was most likely one, the harsh sting of his hand against her cheek—it had come out of nowhere, the kind of pain that shocked more than anything else. she hadn't even cried then. she'd just stood there, frozen, until he'd left, slamming the door behind him—what she does every time this happens.
her phone buzzed, startling her. for a second, her heart jumped, thinking it was him—an irrational fear that maybe he was already on his way, calling to yell at her for something she didn't even know she'd done. but it wasn't him.
it was chaewon.
yunjin had been too afraid to ask for help, too ashamed of what chaewon would say considering the two hadn't spoken—she didn't even think the elder would drive to her. but she couldn't keep it inside anymore. tonight was different. tonight, the fear was swallowing her whole, and she felt like she was drowning in the deepest pit of the dark ocean—unable to stick her head out for air.
"can you come here?" the words had slipped out of her cracked lips before she even had time to second-guess herself. her voice had cracked, the tears coming faster now, because finally saying it out loud made it all feel so real.
but chaewon was so quick to get up and start her journey—and yunjin couldn't thank her enough.
the moment chaewon asked if he hurt her again, yunjin couldn't even bring herself to deny it. "yeah," she had whispered, the weight of that truth settling in her bones. she hated admitting it—hated that she couldn't handle this on her own. but the moment she said it, a flood of relief had washed over her, knowing that chaewon was coming. all she wanted was her in this very second, all the anger from before dripping off the moment chaewon called.
