in the quiet sanctuary of a small-town church, two souls from different worlds collide. yunjin, a gay girl with a vibrant spirit, finds herself navigating the rigid expectations of her conservative family. each sunday, she seeks solace in the church...
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chapter fourteen ʚ ✮ ɞ
yunjin felt the light sigh leave her cracked lips as her eyes fixated on the mirror—not a single thought occupied her mind. it has been three days since the incident, three days since she was stripped down to absolutely nothing; and three days of pure agony. the slight muffled sound of the preacher could be heard through the thin walls—rambling about something that yunjin didn't quite understand.
she couldn't think, not at all, not a bare thought crossed her brain except the live memory of what happened to her that night and the immense throbbing sensation that radiated across her body.
she is pretty sure something is broken—or she at least thinks something is broken and knows it needs to be wrapped up. you would think that after her mother comforted her, she would at least dress the wound—but all good things must come to an end. as for yunjin, that end was that exact morning. her mother was right next to him, consoling the man from the fact that he beat his own daughter, and pretending none of it happened.
yunjin let her fingers grip onto the marble countertop, her vision slightly blurring from the tears that clung to her long lashes. she doesn't understand what she did to deserve this, was it really that bad? was loving someone of the same gender really worth inflicting pain onto your child? maybe she deserved it, yeah, she did. of course she did. she harshly wiped the tears that clung to her skin with the back of her palm, her eyes burning from the touch. she let her body rest against the wall, her arm immediately wrapping itself around her ribcage in a poor attempt to end the pain, which ultimately did nothing. perhaps it was just comforting to her, having her hand wrapped around her like that.
she wishes it was her mother comforting her, that's all she needed, was her mother telling her that it will all be okay, and that they can run away like they used to say when yunjin was a kid. she let her mind wander to the past, wondering where the two could have ended up if they truly went far away. she always wanted to visit japan, she has heard a lot about it from sakura.
as her mind traveled, it led her to chaewon. lately it always lead her to chaewon, and in a way she doesnt mind. she likes to think that chaewon is her safe place, she helps her escape from her harsh reality while also simultaneously being apart of that harsh reality.
she had been avoiding the girl for the last three days, she couldn't face her after what happened. because she knew the moment she let chaewon in would be the moment the girl truly left. she doesn't know why she's so scared of chaewon leaving, perhaps she simply doesn't want the girl to see this side of her. if she does, then it means it becomes real and yunjin is not quite ready to admit the fact that her reality is far beyond perfect. she felt weak, and yunjin hated that so fucking much. it was such an unpleasant feeling, weakness, but yet something so beautiful at the same time.
while it was a pitiful feeling, it gave her a sense of humanity. in a way it grounded her in ways she never knew she needed. after everything that has been going on, she likes having that small feeling of realness-but it was still terrifying. she doesn't think that feeling would ever go away, at least not for a long time.
