in the quiet sanctuary of a small-town church, two souls from different worlds collide. yunjin, a gay girl with a vibrant spirit, finds herself navigating the rigid expectations of her conservative family. each sunday, she seeks solace in the church...
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chapter twenty ʚ ✮ ɞ
chaewon sat quietly, pulling her knees close to her chest as she gazed out at the vast expanse of the ocean before her. the night air was cool, and the sand beneath her bare feet felt cold and grainy—somewhat grounding the emotion she had been feeling. a soft breeze blew past, brushing against her skin with the gentlest kisses of touches, almost like a comforting caress. above her, the moon cast a serene glow, bathing everything in a silvery light. its soft luminescence reflected off her figure, while her ears attuned themselves to the harsh sound of the waves crashing against each other in a steady, calming cadence.
the scene before her was peaceful, almost too peaceful for the turmoil spinning in her mind—she had been so used to the constant stress lately that silence was overwhelming.
it was the type of quiet she had always found comfort in, yet tonight, it only heightened the chaos within. it had been a few days since she last saw yunjin, and each day felt like she was slowly unraveling. the absence was suffocating, her thoughts filled with questions she couldn't answer, emotions she couldn't fully process—which ultimately ruined everything.
how had she not realized how much yunjin's presence comforted her? being apart felt like losing a part of herself she didn't even know she needed so so fucking desperately. the thought that she might have pushed yunjin away, or worse, driven her away, gnawed at her constantly—all because she was scared? she still was, this was still foreign to her but she didn't want to go through it alone.
she had tried to give the red haired girl space, had told herself it was what the other girl needed. but in doing so, she was falling apart, piece by piece. chaewon couldn't keep avoiding her, couldn't keep pretending that the distance was manageable.
sighing deeply, she pulled out her phone from the pocket of her black joggers, staring at the blank screen. her thumb hovered over the lock screen, hesitating. should she do it? should she reach out after days of silence, after yunjin had seemingly walked away without a word?
she'd spent these past few days convincing herself that it wasn't exactly "ignoring" if yunjin hadn't messaged her either. but the truth was, that small voice of doubt kept whispering to her that she was avoiding yunjin because she was afraid of the answer she might get.
yunjin had walked away from her. the red-haired girl had turned her back, and chaewon had been paralyzed ever since, wondering what that meant. did yunjin want distance? did she need time to think? or worse—did she not care enough to reach back?
"ugh," chaewon muttered, her frustration spilling out as she tossed the phone back down beside her. she bit down hard on her lower lip, a mixture of anxiety and regret gnawing at her insides. but the silence, the waiting—it was unbearable.
without another thought, she picked the phone back up, her fingers moving almost automatically as she punched in the password. before she knew it, she was scrolling to yunjin's name in her contacts, her thumb hovering over the call button like it was second nature. she knew the number by heart, knew every letter of her name on the screen, like it was a part of her daily life—because it was, yunjin had slowly but surely fit herself into every little aspect of chaewon's heart.
she pressed call.
the phone rang once, the familiar sound echoing in her ears. her heartbeat quickened. it rang again, and again, the seconds stretching longer and longer with each repetition. chaewon held her breath, each ring making her pulse race faster.
and then, finally—yunjin answered.
but no words came. the line was open, but the silence hung heavy between them, like the weight of all the unsaid things, the unresolved tension that had built over the past few days. chaewon's heart pounded in her chest as she waited, waited for yunjin to speak, to break the silence, to give her something—anything—that would tell her what to do next.
but all she heard was quiet. and in that quiet, she realized how loud her own feelings had become.
"yunjin," chaewon's voice trembled, barely audible beneath the soothing lull of the ocean waves. the sound of her own words seemed fragile, almost lost in the darkness of the night. her breath hitched, anxiety tightening her chest. every second of silence from the other end filled her with the fear that yunjin might leave again, that this fragile connection might slip through her fingers once more.
"i miss you." her words came out in a soft, trembling whisper, so quiet she wasn't even sure if yunjin could hear her. but she had to say it. the weight of those feelings had been suffocating her for days. "you don't have to say anything—i just..." chaewon paused, her heart pounding as she gathered the courage to continue. "i just couldn't stay away any longer."
the vulnerability in her voice was undeniable, and as she stared out at the dark expanse of the ocean, she realized how much it had taken for her to admit it. she wasn't asking for anything, wasn't expecting an answer. all she wanted was for yunjin to know, to understand, how much this silence had weighed on her, how deeply she cared.
chaewon froze as she heard the faint sniffle from the other side of the line. it was soft, almost so quiet she almost didn't hear it, but unmistakable—yunjin had been crying. her chest tightened, and suddenly the silence between them felt heavier, more painful.
"jen..." chaewon's voice was soft and filled with concern, her heart breaking at the thought of yunjin being upset. "are you okay?" she mumbled, her tone gentle, as if she was afraid that speaking too loudly might make things worse.
she waited, gripping the phone tightly, wishing more than anything that she could reach through the screen, close the distance between them, and offer yunjin some kind of comfort. the quiet crack in yunjin's composed exterior felt like a mirror to her own internal struggle, and chaewon's heart ached with the weight of the unspoken emotions between them.
"can you come here?" yunjin's voice cracked through the soft cries, broken and fragile, each word laced with a vulnerability that made chaewon's heart drop.
chaewon didn't hesitate for a second. she shot to her feet, her mind racing as panic gripped her. "are you okay?" she asked urgently, her voice growing sharper with concern. "did he hurt you again?"
the thought of yunjin being hurt, especially by him, made chaewon's blood run cold. her pulse quickened, and her entire body was ready to move, to be wherever yunjin was, to protect her from whatever was happening. her heart pounded as the minutes stretched painfully long, waiting for yunjin's response, terrified of what she might hear next.
"yeah—" yunjin's voice came through weakly, barely holding together as the sobs fought to break free. that single word, so small yet so heavy, sent a surge of emotions through chaewon. anger, fear, helplessness—all crashing together inside her. she clenched her fist, jaw tightening at the thought of yunjin being hurt again.
"i'm on my way," chaewon said, her voice steady but filled with a determination that left no room for hesitation. she grabbed her things in a hurry, her mind racing with worry. she could hear yunjin's quiet cries through the phone, and it made every second feel like a lifetime.
"stay where you are, okay? i'm coming," she reassured, trying to keep the panic from seeping into her voice. the thought of yunjin going through this alone, hurt and vulnerable, made her chest ache. she had to get to her, now. nothing else mattered. no one else mattered.
"i'm coming. i got you."
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authors note: surprise chapter :D !! the next chapter is going to be much longer, so i went ahead and gave you guys this part because i didn't want it to be overwhelmingly long. i hope you guys are enjoying this book so far <3 and thank you for sticking with me and purinz here. i love you guys dearly, each comment really motivates me to finish this book faster! i've been struggling with writing these past few days but the love you guys give me means the absolute world to me.
