𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐈𝐃𝐒 𝐀𝐓 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐓 ― rafe cameron

τριάνταπέντε ; 35

song of the chapter:
MOMENT ; vierre cloud

That night, Margarita didn't catch a wink of sleep. Even while Rafe peacefully slept on her chest, his face relaxed and free from the burdens of the world, she found herself wide awake, staring out her window into the darkness beyond. The moonlight spilled into her room, casting soft shadows that danced on the walls, but it did little to soothe the turmoil brewing inside her.

With Rafe's rhythmic breathing lulling her, she couldn't help but trace the outline of his features, the way his jawline caught the light and how his hair fell messily across his forehead. He looked so serene, so untouched by the chaos that filled her mind. But for Margarita, the quiet was deafening. Memories and worries swirled like the ocean waves crashing outside, relentless and overpowering.

She thought about everything that had led her to this moment—the parties, the drugs, the reckless abandon that felt exhilarating but also so isolating. Rafe was here, holding her, but the weight of her choices pressed heavily on her chest. Was this connection genuine, or was it just another escape? She bit her lip, trying to suppress the anxious thoughts threatening to spill over.

As she gazed out at the ocean, she could see the waves illuminated by the moonlight, a constant rhythm that seemed to echo her own inner conflict. It was beautiful and chaotic, much like her life. Margarita felt a pang of sadness as she remembered the carefree girl she used to be before everything got complicated. Did she even know who she was anymore?

Her phone buzzed softly on the nightstand, breaking the stillness. She glanced over, half-expecting it to be a message from Barry or one of her friends. But it was just a notification, reminding her of the party from earlier. A flood of anxiety washed over her as she thought of the people she had mingled with, the choices she had made. What would they think if they knew about her and Rafe? Would they even care?

Turning her gaze back to Rafe, she felt a flicker of hope. This felt different—real. But then the fear crept in, reminding her of how easily things could change. Would he still want her if he knew everything she had done? The thought made her heart race. She wanted to believe in this moment, in him, but the shadows of her past loomed large.

Just then, Rafe stirred, his eyes fluttering open to meet hers. "Hey," he murmured, a sleepy smile spreading across his face. "You okay?"

Margarita hesitated, feeling a knot form in her stomach. "Just thinking," she admitted softly, hoping her vulnerability wouldn't scare him away.

"About what?" he asked, propping himself up on one elbow, the concern in his eyes pulling her in deeper.

"Everything," she replied, letting out a shaky breath. "About us... and what this all means."

Rafe's expression softened, and he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, his touch gentle yet grounding. "I get it," he said. "But right now, all that matters is this." He gestured between them, the intimacy of the moment radiating through the room.

Margarita wanted to believe him, to let go of the fears swirling in her mind. "Yeah, I know," she replied, a small smile creeping onto her lips. "It's just hard sometimes."

The sunrise cast a soft glow across her room, bathing everything in warm hues of gold and peach. Margarita blinked a few times, her eyes quickly adjusting to the light filtering through the curtains. As she stirred, she felt the rhythmic rise and fall of Rafe's chest beneath her, his breathing steady and calm, a stark contrast to the whirlwind of thoughts that had kept her awake for most of the night.

Sleep had overtaken the anger and displacement he usually carried, and for a moment, he looked peaceful, almost innocent. It was a sight she hadn't expected to see, and it brought a gentle smile to her lips. How could someone so tangled in chaos appear so serene? She marveled at the way his dark hair fell across his forehead, the way his lips curled slightly as he slept.