𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐈𝐃𝐒 𝐀𝐓 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐓 ― rafe cameron

ογδόντα ; 80

song of the chapter:
18 ; one direction

Margarita walked away from Rafe, her feet sinking into the sand as the sound of the waves faded behind her. Each step felt heavier than the last, the weight of everything they had been through pressing down on her. She wiped at her eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling, but the sting of their conversation clung to her.

Rafe's words echoed in her mind. "I can't look out my window, look at the sunset, and not think of you anymore." It was a simple truth, and she couldn't deny that part of her felt the same. The memories of their time together had a way of resurfacing in moments like this—in the quiet hours when she was alone, in the way the sunset reminded her of how things once were between them.

But memories weren't enough to fix the broken pieces of who they had become.

She kept walking, needing to put distance between them, but Rafe's voice stopped her.

"Margarita." His tone was different now—not desperate, but softer. She turned around slowly, not sure what to expect. Rafe had stood up, his hands hanging loosely at his sides. There was no anger in his stance, no wild, impulsive edge like there had been before. He just looked tired. "I never wanted to lose you."

Margarita stood still, the wind tugging at her hair, the sea breeze cooling the warmth that had risen in her chest. She had heard those words before, or something like them, in one of Rafe's apologies during the many times he'd sworn he would change. But this time, it felt different. It wasn't an apology. It was a truth he had been carrying for a long time, and maybe it was one she needed to hear too.

"I know," she replied softly, her voice just loud enough for him to hear over the ocean's hum.

He took a step toward her, and for a moment, she thought he might try to pull her back into his world. But he stopped a few feet away, as if finally realizing that no matter how much he wanted her, he couldn't have her—not like before.

"I messed up too many times," Rafe said, his gaze locked on hers, vulnerability etched across his face. "And I don't know how to make that right. I don't think I can."

Margarita's chest tightened. She wanted to tell him that it wasn't just him, that they had both gotten lost somewhere along the way. But she knew that wouldn't change anything. She couldn't fix Rafe, and she couldn't carry the weight of his redemption anymore.

"You have to figure that out for yourself, Rafe," she said, her voice firm despite the emotion building in her throat. "I can't be the reason you change. That's something only you can do."

Rafe dropped his gaze, staring down at the sand as he nodded. "I get that now," he said quietly. "But that doesn't mean it's easy to let you go."

The wind picked up, rustling through the palm trees behind them, the ocean whispering secrets they couldn't understand. Margarita felt the pull in her heart, that part of her that would always care for Rafe, no matter how much time passed. But she knew that caring wasn't the same as staying.

"It's not easy for me either," she admitted, her voice small, almost fragile. "But it's the only way."

Rafe looked at her again, and this time, there was no fight left in his eyes, no defiance. Just a quiet resignation. "I hope you're happy," he said, the words filled with something more than just the usual platitude. They were genuine, raw. "With him. With your life."

Margarita's throat tightened, but she managed a small nod. "I hope you find that too, Rafe."

He held her gaze for a moment longer, then nodded, his jaw clenched as he took a step back. Without another word, he turned and started walking in the opposite direction, his figure slowly disappearing into the distance.

Margarita stood there for a long time, watching as he faded from view. The sun was dipping lower into the horizon now, casting a soft glow across the water, and she realized how much had changed in such a short time. Rafe was no longer the center of her world, and while it hurt to let him go, she knew it was the right thing. Not just for her, but for him too.

As she turned to walk back toward the others, toward the life she was building with JJ and the friends who grounded her, Margarita felt a quiet strength growing inside her. She had made her choice, and while the past would always be a part of her, it didn't define her future anymore.

She felt free, but not entirely. The ocean breeze that swept through her hair felt like a promise of something new, a fresh start. But deep down, the feeling of liberation was shadowed by a truth she hadn't allowed herself to fully confront: she didn't love JJ like she had loved Rafe.

As much as she wanted to convince herself otherwise, the difference was unmistakable. JJ made her feel safe, steady. He was a calm presence in her life, a constant in a sea of chaos, and she cared for him deeply. But there wasn't the same fire, the wild, unpredictable intensity that she had once felt with Rafe. It wasn't the same love that had left her breathless, torn between bliss and destruction.

That love with Rafe had been like a storm—dangerous, overwhelming, but also electrifying in a way she had never experienced with anyone else. With JJ, there was warmth, comfort, a sense of peace, but it lacked the depth of passion that Rafe had stirred in her.

And that realization scared her.

As she walked along the shore, her feet sinking into the wet sand, she couldn't help but wonder if she was trying to mold herself into someone who could fit into the life she had with JJ, someone who could be content with something quieter, more stable. But deep down, part of her still craved the wildness, the unpredictability that came with Rafe, even if it had hurt her time and time again.

Margarita stopped walking, staring out at the horizon as the sun dipped below it, the sky painted in soft hues of pink and orange. Her heart felt heavy, conflicted. She knew JJ cared for her, maybe even loved her, and she cared for him too. But was that enough? Could she really settle into a life with him, knowing that her love for him wasn't the same as what she had with Rafe?

She didn't know. All she knew was that as much as she wanted to be free from Rafe's hold on her, there was still a part of her—however small—that couldn't let go. Maybe it was because he had been her first real love, or maybe because he had seen parts of her that no one else had. But no matter how hard she tried to move on, he was still there, lingering in the corners of her heart like a ghost she couldn't shake.

A soft sigh escaped her lips as she sat down in the sand, wrapping her arms around her knees. She stared out at the water, the rhythmic sound of the waves filling the silence around her. She didn't want to hurt JJ. He deserved better than someone whose heart was still torn between the past and the present. But she also couldn't keep pretending that everything was perfect, that what she felt for him was the same as what she had once felt for Rafe.

Margarita closed her eyes, trying to push the thoughts away, but they wouldn't leave her alone. Rafe had been chaos, yes, but he had also been the one person who made her feel alive in a way no one else could. And even though she had walked away from him, she wasn't sure if she'd ever truly be free from the hold he had on her heart.

--- end of chapter