𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐈𝐃𝐒 𝐀𝐓 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐓 ― rafe cameron

πενήνταεπτά ; 57

song of the chapter:
MIDNIGHT LOVE ; girl in red

She had always loved the warmth—the sun on her skin, the way it seemed to seep into her bones, grounding her. The sunsets and sunrises, painted in soft hues of pink, gold, and violet, made her feel alive. Summer gave her comfort, wrapping her in its embrace, bringing with it the smell of saltwater and the taste of freedom. There was something about the long days and the sound of waves crashing that made everything feel like it would be okay, even when it wasn't.

But winter always called to her.

The cold, the rain, the way everything slowed down. How the world seemed quieter, as if the chaos of life took a step back and let her breathe. She loved the way the air would nip at her skin, sharp and crisp, reminding her she was still here, still standing. The rain, with its rhythmic patter against the window, made her feel less alone somehow. It drowned out the noise in her head, washed away the weight of expectations and the pressure to always be 'okay.'

In the cold, there was clarity.

In the calm, there was peace.

While summer had been her escape, winter was her truth. She could let the chill seep into her, allow herself to feel the melancholy that often lingered beneath the surface. She didn't have to pretend to be anyone else during those long, quiet nights. The dark mornings felt like a blank canvas, one she could face without the heat of the sun burning away her thoughts.

As she stood there on the beach, the last remnants of summer fading into fall, she wondered if she could let go of the chaos she had been carrying for so long. The thought of winter coming brought her a sense of relief. Maybe, just maybe, in the cold and the calm, she could find herself again.

Although there were two months of summer left, she didn't care. The weather was warm, her skin was tanned, and her hair had lightened from the sun's constant embrace. But no matter how much warmth surrounded her, her body remained cold. It was a coldness that ran deeper than the surface, one that seeped into her bones and refused to leave.

No matter how hard she tried to stay warm, wrapping herself in blankets or basking in the sunlight, her body always shivered. It was as if the warmth of the season couldn't touch the chill inside her. She could feel the heat radiating off the sand beneath her feet, see the sweat glistening on everyone else, but none of it seemed to reach her. The warmth of the outside world was a distant thing, a reminder that she was no longer in sync with it.

Her body was a contradiction—bathed in sunlight yet frozen within.

It wasn't just physical. The coldness was something she carried inside her, a constant reminder of the weight she refused to acknowledge. As much as she tried to shake it off, it clung to her, like an invisible fog she couldn't outrun. The kind of cold that made her feel hollow, as if there was something missing that no amount of sun could fill.

She wrapped her arms around herself, standing at the edge of the water, the waves lapping at her feet. The sea was warm, but still, her body rejected it. She was trapped in her own internal winter, no matter how much summer surrounded her.

And as the days grew longer, the sun stronger, she couldn't help but wonder if she would ever feel warmth again.

--- end of chapter