Sorry Not Sorry

-5 🌱

"Don't look at me" I say.

-

Katherine grabs my hand, pulling me up. "That's probably my fault." She says. "I left the door open while it was raining the other week, must've rotted the wood."

Danny and Max walk over. "You okay there, mate?" Danny says, and I lean back, bumping my head against the wall.

"Physically? Sore." I say, rubbing my tailbone. "Mentally? That was embarrassing. My reputation has been ruined."

"Reputation?" Max chuckles.

"Don't laugh at me, I don't know."

"You sure are unlucky, mate." Katherine says. "You're butt doesn't hurt too much?"

I choke. "Not at all, mam."

"Wonderful. Everyone's here so it's time to get started." We walk into the middle of the room, leaving the crumbled wooden bench near the door.

I walk up next to Kitty and she throws me a smile.

"I think it's about time we get to the fun stuff, right? I'm sure you've noticed the punching bags we dragged out for you today. This'll mainly be seeing how good your punches are and seeing how we can improve them next time. Partners won't be needed. Readysetgo."

Max and Danny walk back up next to Kitty and I. We each pick a punching bag, and mines on the end, next to Danny.

I crack my knuckles, before squishing the bag to get a feel for how firm it is. I pull my arm back and punch once-

-

I huff, flopping down on the ground.

"You really get focused while hitting the bag, don't you?" Danny chuckles, but I can't hear him over the pounding in my ears. I notice I'm lying on the ground, so I stand and head into the bathroom without another word.

I wash my hands, the cool water calming the beating in my ears. I swipe my fingers through my hair messing it up a bit. I suddenly realise I ignored Danny so I rush out of the bathroom.

"Sorry Danny, I kinda completely just forgot to answer you" I say, looking up at him.

"It's alg, Xavier. You just prove my point further." He laughs.

"What point?"

He chuckles "You're so in the zone." He mimes punching. "How do you even get to be like that?"

I shrug. "I just let all my pent up anger out."

-

I shrug my jumper back on and sling my bag over my shoulder. "Are you coming with me?" Max asks, swinging his keys on his pointer finger.

"Sure, why not." I say.

-

The air conditioning blasts in my face as I laugh at something Max said. The radio's turned up high- some song with really weird lyrics- and I barely notice when Max pulls up and parks outside the cow field, where they're grazing not so far away. "Why are we stopped?" I ask.

"I wanted to meet the legend himself- the one who bit Xavier." He laughs.

"Herself" I correct.

He must think I'm serious because he stops. "Oh yeah, sorry."

"Dude, chill out it was a joke." I laugh.

He chuckles, shaking his head. "I can never tell." He says, leaning against the fence. The cows lumber over to us, a few calfs running. One comes straight over to him, with shaggy hair like mine. He scratches it's head, and it licks his hand.

"This dudes got a nice hairstyle." I say.

"It's like yours," Max says. "All shaggy and stuff." I'm surprised he noticed, and I reach forward and pat it on the head too.

"I think it's the one who bit me." I say, and as if it's confirming, she bites my finger gently. "Ouch." I yank it away. "Yeah, not happening."

Max looks out at the setting sun. "We should get going."

I nod, waving the cows goodbye. I jump back in the seat and buckle in.

-

"He seriously managed to chug he whole thing?" I laugh.

"Yep, no breaks."

"Damn, I need to party with that guy."

"Good thing you're looking at him." Max says, hiding his face by looking away.

"What, who?" I chuckle awkwardly. "That was you!? " I say.

"Yep" He smiles, looking back at me.

"Why didn't you just tell me it was you?" I say, giggling.

"I worried you wouldn't find it funny if you knew."

My smile fades. "Seriously? Why wouldn't I?"

"I dunno. It doesn't matter." He says, looking away, as we park near the bus stop.

"It matters to me." I say, leaning over. "Please?"

"It's just- you didn't seem to like me at first."

I sigh, sitting back. "I don't like anyone at first."

"You liked Danny and Kitty."

I feel my throat tighten and I decide I need to scedaddle. I open the door and get out. "I'm sorry you think that way." I say, looking down at my feet.

I close the door and walk away, feeling heavy in my skin. Once again, Max waits until I turn the corner to pull out of the park. My phone vibrates in my pocket as I reach in to pull out my key, so I pull that out instead. It's a Instagram request from Kitty. I spend no time wondering how she got it, instead I just add her.

"Hey" she says

"Hey, sorry for not really
talking much earlier. "

That's all I really have to say, so I put it away and open the door to my house. I wash my hands at he kitchen sink and pick up an apple to take a bite of. I go to pull my bag off my shoulder before realising it's not there.

I rack my brain to remember if I got it out of the car near the cows, or if it fell off my back at the bus stop, but I can't even remember taking it out of the car. I growl, biting the Apple.

I don't really want to see Max again so soon, but I need the stuff from my bag. I open my phone and open Kitty's Insta. I consider just asking her, but what if she and Max aren't even together at the moment. I sigh again, opening her 'following' list. Max's is one of the first people, and I even could have found him tagged in the latest image she posted.

I click "follow" send a message request, and wait.

-