Sorry, Not Sorry

-4

I laugh, standing up. "He-hey mum."

She takes my hand, helping me up. "Sorry for being back so late." I say. She smiles at me.

"It's alright baby, as long as you were having fun. I noticed you left your keys, so I stayed up until you got home."

"Oh, mum" I say. "Breaking your precious sleep schedule for me?" I say with a smile.

"Yes. Now get to bed- scratch that. Have a shower. You stink, boy!"

"Of course, mum."

She walks away in her slippers and nightgown, disappearing into her bedroom to sleep. I wash my hands in the bathroom sink, before I go to my room, collect my clothes and hop into the shower.

The water sizzles against my skin, burning my feet. Once I'm done, I get dressed, humming a song under my breath. I turn the lights off, then climb into bed.

Today- despite the dispute with Max at the start- was good.

-

I wake up sweaty and dehydrated. The duvet chokes me and clings to my body. I pant, hissing as I sit up and get blinded by the light streaming in through the curtains. My heart beats fast, and I'm sure I just had a nightmare.

I can't remember it though, just like every nightmare I've had recently. My throat closes up and I cough. I pour the lukewarm bottle of water down my throat, easing the pain. Birds chirp outside, and a light breeze comes in though my window.

I breath deeply, inhaling and exhaling slowly.

Eventually, I've gained composure, and I take out my phone. There's another class today, but that's not until later. Eventually, my stomach grumbles and I head out into the kitchen to cook up something for breakfast. Considering the time, mums already left for her shift at the RSPCA.

After cooking up simple toast with butter and eating it in my room, I head into the bathroom. My scruffy and slightly curly caramel hair pokes up in ever direction and I huff before sticking it all back into place.
My eye bags are extra pronounced today and my scar over my nose is barely visible.

I pop my headphones over my ears after washing my face and open my closet. I sigh, looking at all the basic t-shirts and jeans. I decide to wear sweat pants today, and some random shirt, with a album cover.

I throw on a cap over the top, one my mum bought from the thrift store, and pick up my bag.

I hang the black bag off of one shoulder. I pat my pockets, ensuring I have a key this time, and head out for my walk to the studio.

The gravel front path crunches under my feet, as I look down at my phone. I look up as I cross the road, looking both ways. I continue along the path, until I reach the bus stop.

I almost don't notice the car parked there, until they honk at me.

It pisses me off pretty quick, until I look up and see Max's familiar Toyota. I open the door and climb in. "Hey there." He says. Followed by, "Nice hat."

"Hi. Thanks." I say, popping my bag in the ground. "Why did you decide to pick me up?" I ask, bewildered.

"Kitty couldn't stand the thought of you walking here all alone everyday, so she practically forced me to." He says.

"Good to know you didn't want too." I say, not meaning it negatively at all, but when I look sideways and notice him biting the inside of his cheek I take it back. "Sorry, I didn't mean that like-"

He shrugs it away, "It's all good, I get it, man." He says. He pulls up to a stoplight and turns to me. "You really planned to walk this everyday?" He asked. "It's like- 2 Kilometres."

I shrug, "It's good exercise, and I get to pat the cows sometimes." I point a thumb at the cow field.

"Huh. Are they nice?"

I chuckle but stop halfway through. "Yeah, as nice as a cow can possibly be. One bit my finger once."

"Ouch. But seriously, walking 2km, exercising for like- 2 hours and then walking another 2km can't be good for you?" Max says, turning a corner.

"Hm." I say.

"If you don't want me to drive you, though, you can just ask." Max says as we pull into a park.

"Its OK, this is fine." I say, getting out of the car and grabbing my bag. I fling it over my shoulder and close the door.

I sigh, walking into the studio. Max follows behind me and I give him a fist bump. "Thanks for the drive." I say, before walking over to the lockers. I've gotten kind of sick of his voice in the past drive, but I don't want to blow up so I just leave him alone for a bit. I head into the bathroom and wash my hands, wiping them on my pants.

I step out of the bathroom, looking around. I go over to my locker, before stripping off my jumper. I shove it in, locking the door. I go to walk over to Kitty, but a couple of girls are talking to her, and I don't want to bother them.  I would talk to Danny and Max, but like I said, I don't want to blow up on them so I just sit down on a bench near the door.

Suddenly it crumbles below me, snapping in half. I bury my head in my hands, still sitting in the wreck. I feel every single person's eyes boring into my skull, and I don't want to see that. Katherine jogs over. "Don't look at me" I say.

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