Sorry, Not Sorry

- 34

It's quiet in the house, besides the distant and muffled laughter from the others down at the creek. I'd love to be down there with them, but I'm too anxious about Max, since he's not back yet. I'm sat on the couch, my feet tucked under my butt, absorbing the peace and quiet, as crickets sing a melody outside in the crisp, cool air. The haunting call of a kookaburra follows the crickets song.

The laughter and animal song fade into the back of my mind as I hear the front door creak open, heavy footfall down the hall, into the living room. The breeze gently blows Max's hair from his face, revealling a distraught and tired expression, his eyes red. I pat the couch next to me, inviting him to sit down. He doesn't say anything, just flops down onto the couch, shrugging his jacket off in the process. The Navy pile of fabric falls into my lap, and I tentatively reach out a hand to rest on his shoulder, the other clenching the fabric. "Max-" I begin, but he reaches up a hand and covers my mouth.

"Not yet," he chokes, looking down so his hair covers his face. "I'm not ready yet." I nod in response, prying his hand off my face.

"The others are down at the creek." I add softly, sick of the complete and utter silence we'd been left in for a total of ten seconds. "It sounds like they're enjoying themselves." I add, quieting again so we can hear their distance but heartwarming laughter.

Max's chest heaves a bit, and I scooch closer, "Are you sure you don't want to-" I begin, but he cuts me off.

"She broke up with me." He leans forward, wet tears falling in the woolen carpet. "She broke up with me, and I deserve it." He repeats.

"Max..." I say, my heart clenching at seeing him so upset. It's all my fault. "Look at me. Look at me, please." I beg, and he looks up, his eyes watery and red, tears trailing down his cheeks. "I'm sorry. It's probably all my fault."

"It's not. She was annoying me... But I still wanted to be with her, Yknow... But  the biggest issue is...I don't even feel sad about losing her. I feel sad because of the consequences of losing her. There's no excuses anymore." I pull him into a hug, and he grips my back, his forehead presses against my shoulder, black hair tickling my neck.

"I can't say I understand, at all... But I'm here for you." I say. He hugs me tighter.

"Of course you are." He mumbles, chuckling softly. He pulls back, reaching up to wipe his face off. "How about we go down to the creek with the others?" He asks.

"If you'd like-"

"It'd definetly make me feel better."

That's all he has to say, and I jump up out of my seat, dragging him behind me, out the glass sliding door. "I don't know what's up," I say not looking back at him as I drag him down to the creek, "But, you can always trust me." I shrug, my back turned to him as my feet crunch on the unfamiliar rocky path. "This is the way, right?" I ask, looking around at the bush and dry grass all around. It's dark, and I can hardly see a thing, but I know I'm safe, following the path which I assume the others followed half an hour ago.

My focus is drawn away from my surroundings as Max speaks again, his wrist firm in my grasp. I remember when I'd absentmindedly grabbed Nicole. I shake the thought out if my head, listening to Max. "No matter which way you go, as long as it's down, you'll get there. He says. "If you go that way, eventually it'll be my place, though." He says, sniffling. We approach the bank of the creek, near the others, but Max tugs on my wrist. "Let's go over there." He points to an old, majestic stone bridge that leads to the other side of the creek. I'd figured the 'creek' would be small, but it is pretty large, and it's seems to get deep in the middle, so you wouldn't be able to wade across it, explaining the need for the bridge. The waters clear, cool as it laps at the mud and rocks at its edge.