Sorry, Not Sorry

- 36

I wake up later than usual, and feel the overwhelming urge to go on a walk for my free time. It's pretty random, but there's no harm in going out. I get dressed quickly and head out the door, making my way to the park. I'm standing at the entrance, debating which way to go, I finaly decide to go left, where the heavily treed 'rainforest' area is located.
I wander around, heavy rain drops from the sprinklers overhead occasionally dropping on the top of my head, to simulate a real rainforest while simultaneously watering the ferns and trees.

As I approach the middle of the forest, a gazebo with paths running out from it in four directions, the sound of voices distract me from my thoughts  as I round the corner, slowing my footsteps. As I get closer and closer to the sound, I figure it's just a group who've set up for lunch at the picnic table, though it sounds only like two people. I peek through a gap in the dripping leaves, surprised to see two familiar people.

I duck back behind the plant, trying my hardest for my feet not to squelch on the wet concrete floor as I press my back against the massive dripping fern.  I don't want to eavesdrop on my friend, so I slowly waddle to the side, eventually sprinting away as soon as I'm slightly further away. I don't know if either of the two turn their heads at the noise of my feet, since I already dashed so far away. I walk through the rest of the park, constantly glancing over my shoulder until I find a seat beside the duck pond.

I sit on the wooden bench, still glancing around. I bask in the moment of calm, puffed from all the dashing around, even though I'm sure they're still in the rainforest area. I lay my head back, tilting my face towards the sun to warm my cheeks. My eyes flick open as I hear the crunch of approaching footsteps.

I lift my head up, my eyes flicking around and noticing I spot the two rapidly aproaching my seat as they chatter, not looking at me. I jump off the bench, turning and rounding the corner to hide from their sight. Max and Nicole sit on the bench I'd been occupating moments earlier, talking. I can't see them, and can't hear them either, but when they stand up not even a minute later, I can see they both look relatively happy. Max waves goodbye to Nicole and I dash away, running out the front gate with a  sigh. I assume Max would've headed the other way, to the car park, so I slow my pace once outside. Why did the one day I happened to go to the park be the one day they happened to go, too? I think to myself, scowling. About two minutes later, my phone vibrates from a call.

I hold the phone in my hand, letting the call ring out painfully. As soon as Max's voicemail sends, I put the phone to my ear and listen as I walk.

"Hey, dude." His cheerful voice says, "Uh, I was just calling to say Nicole and I met up at the park-" I know. I almost want to mutter, "-we're all good now, bu-" I close the voice mail, looking  up to the sky. I inhale, letting out a shaky breath after. I look to my side, where a noticeboard sits, plenty of the posters faded from the sun, all besides one, which catches my eye.

I bite my lip, stepping closer to the notice. An art competition? I think. I examine the sign for a second longer, snapping a photo quickly before continuing on my walk home. I reach up to wipe my face, water pooling in my eyes for reasons I'm not sure of.

My heart twangs as I imagine that Max had seen me at the park. If I'd been out with my partner, I definitely wouldn't know what to feel seeing my friend lurking in the bushes, out of breath. I'm sure they're back together. I don't  know what he said to get her to forgive him, but I know they are...why else would he call me? My heart twangs painfully at the thought of him thinking about me right after his date, a date with the girl who broke up with him because of me, who ah yes me. As I walk with thoughts swirling through my head I wonder if he even needs me anymore. Mum told me to be there for him while he was vulnerable, but now that they're back together am I even needed? I sigh, sniffling as I eventually turn the corner to my street. A tear rolls down my cheeks uncontrollably, which I swiftly wipe up with my sleeve.