Sorry, Not Sorry

-19

"I'll go once your mum messages you back." He says. "Also, your plan will probably not work if it's this late." He laughs, but things are clearly tense.

-

Soon enough, mum answers my text and Max leaves, as he said he would. I smile with a wave as I watch him drive off.

God, this is embarrassing. I messaged mum, explaining that I'd been locked out of the house for hours, but I'd been with Max so it was fine. 'Xavier? There's a spare key hidden in the bushes remember?' She messages, and I freeze. Seriously? I don't think she even told me about that.

I leap up and walk over to he door. Sure enough, under the bush is a key. My eye twitches. "Damn" I mutter, leaning down to pick the key up. I hold the cool metal in my hands, banging my head on the door.

I unlock the house, then put the key right back where it was. I feel so stupid right now, but at least I got to spend time with Max. Rhough that's maybe norlt worth risking skin cancer for.

I rush into the bathroom and wash my hands. When I get back to my room, my phone lights up with a notification. 'Make it inside ok?' Max asks. I smile. I consider lying, but I realise there's no real point in that.
'Turns out there was a spare key that I just never knew about.' I type.

'Aww, that sucks.' And that's the end of the conversation. I lay in bed, when I hear the door to the house unlock.

Mum comes up to my door. "Were you really outside the house for three hours?" She sighs.

"Yeah. I was under the tree though. Max kept me company."

"You've been so weird recently. Have you been taking your meds?"

I grimace.

"Xavier." She hisses. "Those are important, why haven't you?"

I raise my hands in surrender. "I forgot! I took them last night, though."

"You should be having them every time your supposed to, not just one night." She sighs. "Set a reminder on your phone." She says, "or write it on a note or something. Anything to remember."

I nod. "I will, I'm sorry. What do we have for dinner?" I gaze off around my tidy room.

"Whatevers in the cupboard. I've already ate, so just help yourself, I guess." She shakes her head and leaves my room.

I feel my heart rate pick up and so I get up and start cleaning my room. It helps, usually.
I get a twang in my heart. I feel incredibly useless. I need to get a job. A house. I can't just leech off of mum forever. I sigh.

For some reason, my first instinct is to message Max 'Have you seen my job offers around?' I click send without thinking twice. Three dots appear as he types.

'I think Katherine might want someone to clean the... place?' He says, after a while. 'Wednesdays and Saturdays, I think.'

'Huh. That sounds good but I'd feel so awkward bringing it up😭' I say. 'I'll think about it but we'll see.'

'👍'

I smile. His thumbs up reminds me of how a old man texts, and I chuckle.

-

Monday. The door to the studio opens, the bell ringing. Max follows behind me. "I'm gonna go put my stuff away." I say, and he nods.

He walks off to go talk to someone or something, and I put my stuff down in my locker. I look at myself in the mirror of the bathroom. I still look kinda gross from when I was sick the other day, but I'll have to make do. I walk back out the main studio area, and Katherine approaches me. "Xavier! Max told me you're interested in the cleaning gig!" She says.

I nod. "Uh, yeah." I say. I look behind her to glare at Max, but he throws a thumbs up in my direction and I chuckle. "Yeah, I am."

"All it really is is tidying up after the classes- one shift on Wednesday, and one on Saturday after the Friday session." She explains. "You in?"

I think for a second. "Yeah. I don't really see why not. What sort of tidying?" I ask.

"Well you'd probably just vacuum the place and then tidy up anything that's been knocked over or anything messed up."

I nod. "Cool. I'll definitely do it if you'd like me to." I look off sheepishly.

"That'd be great! Come by Wednesday and well get it sorted!" Katherine smiles.

I nod, and we walk off. I jog over to Max, who had been talking to someone moments earlier had been talking to someone, but they turned away and Max turned towards me. I punch him playfully on the arm, and he fakes that it hurt. "You little bitch!" I laugh.

He shrugs. "It's the least I could do." He chuckles.

"Seriously. Thanks!

"Anyway, I as just talking to Jeremy, I'm playing at a bar in town this Sunday night if you'd like to come."

"Playing?"

"Guitar. Acoustic." He explains.

"Aw, Cool!" I think for a second "What time is it?"

"I start at six." He says.

"I think I'll be done here with Katherine before then!" I say, "What bar is it?"

"It's called 'Late Autumn nights'. " He says. "I'll send you the address later."

"How'd they come up with that name?" I chuckle. "I mean, it's spring right now."

"Good question. I think it was the original owners name."

"Oh! Smart." I laugh.

"Speaking of seasons," Max says, putting both his hands on my shoulders, "This class ends the week before summer. It's Halloween in three days- which is what I'm playing for, even though it's the third of November I'm playing... off topic, anyway. That's like..." He counts on his fingers, "four or five weeks we have left."

"Huh. You're right." I side eye Max's hands on my shoulders.

"We need to keep in touch." He says, shaking me. "We don't even have to talk everyday- just... Keep in touch."

"Of course. " I say. "Just tell me everyone you have to play somewhere, and I'll be there."

Max looks past me. "Wait, I think class is starting."

"Oh, let's get over there then."

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