Sorry, Not Sorry

- 35

My mother wakes me up early, wishing me a merry Christmas. I yawn, "Merry Christmas to you, too." I smile sitting up. I lean over the side of my bed, pulling a box out from underneath. "For you."

Her face lights up, "Oh, honey." She chuckles. "You didn't have to."

"Yeah, I did." I smile, "You do so much for me... I needed to get you something to show my appreciation."

"Just a hug would've suffic-" she stops, throwing the wrapping paper aside. "How expensive must this have been? This is like... Ten books." She marvels at the stack of books at her feet.

"I got them second hand." I shrug, wrapping my arm around her shoulder. "There's some you told me you've wanted to try and some I think you'd enjoy." I say.

"Thank you so much, Xavier." She smiles reaching into her pocket, "I know you told me not to get anything..."

"Mum! You don't need to spend any more money on me than you already do!" I sigh.

She grabs my hands, turning the palms upwards. "Close your eyes." She says. I oblige, sighing with a chuckle. "Open them." Something small and fabric rolls in my palms when I open my eyes. "I made it myself." She explains. "You didn't want anything for yourself," she reaches out a hand and squishes the little colourful mouse, "but you didn't say anything about Rupaul."

I examine the carefully stitched mouse, then look around my room. "We're is the little rascal?" I ask, standing up.

"Out eating breakfast. I know you normally do it when you wake up, but I woke first so I am thought I'd help."

"Mum..."

"Don't worry about it! Lets give Rupaul his toy, and then... One of my girl-friends invited my out to breakfast. I'll be back home in time for lunch so just do whatever you'd like until 1." She says. I follow her out my bedroom door, listening quietly as she pspsps's Rupaul, who's finished his food by now. I place the mouse in front of his grey paws, and he sniffs it inquisitively, pleasing Mum who goes into her room to get ready for breakfast.

I go into my own room, getting dressed for the day and then sitting at my desk on my phone. I message my friends for Christmas, then open Max's. I smile at the thought of last, night, but then frown, remembering that Max was broken up with, and was pretty upset.

I message him Merry Christmas too, then place my phone down on my desk. I push my chair back and roll into the middle of my room. I look up at the ceiling as I spin, watching the lights rotate over and over, forming the illusion of a circle of light.

My spinning is cut off, though, when my phone rings. I snap out of it and roll over to the desk. I pick it up, accepting the call. "Max?" I ask.

"Hey, Xavier." He says, "Merry Christmas." I can tell that he's smiling, despite only his eyes up being visible.

"You too." I reply. "What're you up to?" I ask.

He extends his arm out, spinning in his own chair to show his studio. "I'm writing a Christmas song." He explains happily.

"Really?" I say, intrigued. "Is it any good?"

He thinks, biting the inside of his cheek. "I dunno."

"It better be, cause it's gotta be a classic one day. Though... maybe on Christmas day is a bit too late. Maybe next year?" I joke, and he laughs in response.

"I've been doing it for a week or two, just... slowly."

"Is that all you're doing today?" I ask, "Writing music?"

He shrugs, "Yeah, I wish. I'd rather be in here writing and playing instead of what I have to do later." He sighs.

"Which is?" I ask, setting the phone down in the bathroom, as I stand in front of the mirror. Since I have some free time, I decide I'll take care if my hair a bit. It's been a while.