Sorry, Not Sorry

-37

The first thing I do that next morning is sit down at my desk with a yawn, pulling out a pencil and canvas to prepare to start painting this first painting of the group. After all of my back and forth on concepts, I finaly settled on a theme of "home" it might seem weird, but as I was planning concepts for the dream, I realised how difficult it would be to make the theme understandable. With the theme home, I can draw places which have made an impact on my life. Besides, I can draw the dream still... Just include a house. Max's house.

No, this doesn't look quite right... I think, looking at the light scetch on the canvas. First of all, the orphanage doesn't look like that... And... It shouldn't be the first painting. There should be something before. I think for a few seconds, reaching a hand up to scratch the back of my head. It seems crazy, and I can hardly remember what it looked like... But surely I an make things up? Just how I'd imagined it... I pull out my scetch book and start drawing another thumbnail.

I yawn, stretching my back, I slowly get out of my chair, glancing up at the clock on the wall. I've been sitting here drawing for hours. I sigh, walking out to the main area of the house. New years eve is tomorrow, so that means the others will be coming over... Well, it's not too messy. I can tidy up pretty quickly.

So I do. And after around an hour, all that's left for me to do is straighten the books, and then everything is perfectly clean. It's not like Max hasn't been over before... It's just, the others. They've never seen my place before, and hopefully Max didn't look too hard when he was over.

I sigh, flopping down at the dinner table once mum home, with food.

"How was your day, Xavier?" She asks, "Are your friends still coming over for New Years?"

I nod, "Yeah they will be. What'll you be doing?"

"Hmm. Well, around 11 I'll be heading out to Kirsty's place, so you'll have the house to yourself."

"Alright, that's good." I smile.

We eat in silence for a moment. "What time did you get back from work last night?" She asks.

My chest clenches, and I grimace. "Late." I say, simply.

She raises and eyebrow. "Mhm. Any reason?" I shake my head tensely, staring down at my food. I can feel her eyes watching me as I eat. "Have you had your meds yet?"

I don't respond, focused only on eating my food, but that's clearly enough for her as she stands out of her chair and silently heads into the kitchen.

The next night, the doorbell rings at exactly 11, and I rush over to the door. "Max!" I say, "Hey there."

"Hi, Xay." I flush slightly at the nickname, hiding my face by pulling him into a hug.
"Are- you okay?" He pulls away from the hug, resting one hand on my shoulder.

"Oh, yeah. Just feels like its been forever." I say, glancing over at the wall. "I thought you'd bring Nicole."

I hear the confusion in his voice as he speak, so I turn back to face him, "Didn't you get my voice mail?" He asks quietly, holding up his phone.

"Uh, yes?"

He shakes his head sadly, but I see him chuckle slightly through his hair. "We made up, but we're not back together. Besides, you two hate school other... I'd never let her near you again after Christmas." Im gratefull for the darkness in my house, with all the lights off besides one lamp, because hopefully the blush on my face ain't all too noticeable. "I'll..." He stops, "I'll maybe talk about it later."

"Hi, Guys!" Kitty's cheerful voice says from behind Max, as she and Katherine approach, arms linked through each other.

"Hi Kitty, Katherine." I say with a  smile. "Uh- let's go into the living room... Then." I say anxiously.