Chasing Shadows

Chapter Forty-Four: Jealousy's Shadow

Ethan's head was spinning, the remnants of whiskey still swirling through his mind as he struggled to piece together the world around him. The warmth of the couch wrapped around him like a comforting blanket, and for a moment, he let himself drift back into that hazy state where everything felt blissfully simple.

"Zane..." he murmured again, his voice barely audible as he slipped back into unconsciousness. The name was a whisper of longing, a plea for comfort that he didn't even fully understand.

Zane watched Ethan's eyelids flutter shut once more, a peaceful smile settling onto his face as he surrendered to sleep. The sight was almost too much to bear. Ethan looked so vulnerable, so serene, and yet it tugged at Zane's heartstrings in ways he didn't want to acknowledge. A wave of guilt washed over him as he recognized the position he'd put himself in-being here, watching Ethan in a state of drunken bliss while he hid in the shadows of his own cowardice.

Slowly, almost hesitantly, Zane leaned down, his breath hitching as he brushed his lips against Ethan's forehead. The kiss was gentle, lingering for a heartbeat longer than it should have, a fleeting connection that felt both electric and devastating. Zane closed his eyes, allowing himself to savor the moment, to feel the warmth radiating from Ethan's skin.

"I wish I could tell you..." he murmured softly, his voice barely a whisper against the silence of the room. "I wish I could be what you want me to be."

But the truth was that Zane had no idea what Ethan wanted anymore. The bond they once shared felt irreparably frayed, and yet, in moments like this, it felt as though it could be salvaged if only he dared to reach for it.

With one last lingering look, he pulled away and rose from the couch, careful not to disturb Ethan as he slipped out of the apartment. The door clicked softly behind him, and he let out a shaky breath as he stepped into the cool morning air.

The streets were quiet, the usual bustle of the city muted in the early hours. Zane's heart was heavy as he walked, his mind racing with the weight of his actions. He had kissed Ethan-a gesture that felt intimate and dangerous all at once. It was a reminder of everything they had lost and everything he was too afraid to reclaim.

As he navigated the familiar alleyways and backstreets toward his base, Zane felt a familiar ache settle in his chest. The shadows clung to him, offering both comfort and solitude as he slipped deeper into the heart of the city.

But then, just as he rounded a corner, he froze.

There, standing casually against the wall with his arms crossed, was Jonah.

Zane's heart sank. The sight of the other man stirred a wave of irritation within him. Jonah had always been too relaxed, too easygoing, and somehow always close to Ethan. The way he could effortlessly slide into the role of Ethan's friend, always there with a supportive smile or a lighthearted comment-it made Zane's skin crawl. It was infuriating, and yet Zane couldn't pinpoint why he felt so resentful.

Jonah glanced up, his brown and blue eyes brightening at the sight of Zane. "Hey, you're Zane, right?" he called out, his tone friendly and laid-back.

Zane's response was a curt nod, his jaw tightening as he fought the urge to turn on his heel and walk away. He didn't want to deal with Jonah-not now, not ever. The other man was a reminder of everything Zane couldn't have-everything he had forfeited when he chose to step back from Ethan's life.

"Didn't think I'd run into you here," Jonah continued, pushing off from the wall and closing the distance between them. "Ethan talks about you sometimes."

Zane felt a flare of annoyance at the mention of Ethan's name. "Yeah?" he replied, trying to keep his voice neutral. "What does he say?"

Jonah shrugged, a casual smile playing on his lips. "Just that you're... you know, kind of a mystery. Dark and brooding type, I guess. But that you're a good guy when it counts."