Chasing Shadows

Chapter Sixty-Six: Smoking Confessions

The quiet of the evening blanketed Ethan’s small apartment. Most of the lights were dimmed, casting soft, muted shadows across the living room, where Rascal lay sprawled on his back, legs twitching in his sleep. His gentle snoring was the only sound punctuating the stillness, except for the faint murmur of voices drifting from the balcony.

Ethan leaned against the railing, a plate of assorted sweets in his hand. He popped another candy into his mouth, glancing over at Zane, who stood a few feet away, a cigarette dangling loosely from his fingers. The faint, glowing ember at the end of it flared as Zane took a slow drag, exhaling a swirl of smoke that curled lazily into the cool night air.

They hadn’t spoken much since their arrival. After leaving Asher’s place, the unspoken agreement to continue their conversation had led them here, back to the place where everything had started—and nearly ended.

“Do you ever stop smoking?” Ethan asked finally, his voice breaking the silence. He meant it to sound casual, but there was a tension underlining his tone.

Zane smirked, glancing sideways at him. “Why, worried about my health now?”

Ethan shrugged, chewing thoughtfully on a gummy bear. “Just curious. You go through those things like candy.”

“Well,” Zane said, his smirk widening. “We all have our vices, don’t we?”

Ethan rolled his eyes but didn’t respond. He glanced back out at the city skyline, the lights of the buildings twinkling like stars. The night air was cool, brushing softly against his skin and making him shiver slightly.

Zane noticed and frowned, flicking the cigarette away and crushing it under his heel. He hesitated, then shifted closer, leaning against the railing beside Ethan.

“Better?” he asked quietly.

Ethan glanced at him, surprised by the small act of consideration. He nodded, then returned his attention to the view.

Minutes ticked by in companionable silence, neither of them speaking. Zane reached for another cigarette, but then seemed to change his mind, letting his hand fall back to his side.

“Ethan,” he began, his voice low and almost tentative. He stared at the ground, as if gathering his thoughts, then looked up, meeting Ethan’s gaze with uncharacteristic vulnerability. “I need to tell you something.”

Ethan’s brow furrowed slightly. “What is it?”

Zane took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair in a gesture of frustration. “When I left—when I… messed everything up between us—I thought it was for the best. I thought staying away would make things easier for you.” He paused, his gaze softening. “But it didn’t. It made everything worse.”

Ethan remained silent, watching him intently.

“I know I’ve done a lot of damage. To you, to everyone,” Zane continued, his voice almost a whisper now. “But… no matter what I said, or what I tried to convince myself—I never stopped loving you.”

Ethan’s eyes widened, the words hitting him like a punch to the gut. “Zane…”

Zane laughed softly, the sound bitter. “Surprised? Yeah, well, so am I. But it’s the truth. I still love you, Ethan. And it’s probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever admitted to.”

Ethan blinked, caught off guard. His heart was pounding, and he opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He looked down at the plate of sweets in his hands, the vibrant colors of the candies suddenly seeming out of place in the seriousness of the moment.

Then he thought of Jonah’s words. The blunt honesty that had forced him to confront his own feelings. And it all clicked into place.

“Jonah was right,” Ethan murmured, more to himself than to Zane.