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─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── i'll spend forever wondering if you knew. ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
2016
we were sitting on the swings at our favorite park, the one we'd been coming to since we were five, where we'd shared so many laughs, dreams, and secrets. the warm california sun was dipping lower in the sky, casting a golden glow over everything. i looked over at billie, her face lit up by that light, her blue eyes sparkling like they always did when she was thinking about something.
i had something to tell her, something i'd been dreading for weeks. i was moving to new york. my parents had decided, and no amount of pleading could change their minds. it felt like my world was about to shift in ways i wasn't ready for, and all i wanted was to stay here, with her.
"billie," i started, my voice softer than usual, "i have to tell you something."
she turned to me, her smile fading a little, concern flashing in her eyes. "what's up?"
i took a deep breath. "i'm moving. to new york."
her face dropped, and for a second, neither of us said anything. the silence was heavy, like the weight of all the things i couldn't say. like how i didn't want to leave because i couldn't imagine being that far from her. how i wanted to confess everything, every feeling i'd been holding inside for so long. but instead, i chickened out. i couldn't risk ruining our friendship.
"we'll stay in touch," she said, forcing a smile. "right? there's always texting, and we can facetime all the time. it'll be like i'm still here."
i nodded, trying to believe that it would be enough. "yeah, we'll stay in touch."
and that was the promise we made. even though my heart felt like it was breaking, i told myself it wasn't goodbye forever.
2017
for a while, we did keep in touch. constant texts, late-night calls, and facetimes that made the distance seem smaller. but then... she stopped replying. first, it was just a few hours, then days, then weeks. my texts went unanswered, my calls went straight to voicemail, and i was left wondering what had happened. i replayed our last conversations over and over, trying to figure out if i'd said or done something wrong. but there was nothing. just silence.
it hurt more than i thought it would. not just because she was my best friend, but because she was more than that. she was the person i'd fallen in love with, and losing her felt like losing a part of myself. but i never reached out again. maybe i was too scared of the truth. maybe she had moved on.
2024
l.a. was different now. the streets felt familiar and foreign at the same time, like a dream i was waking up from. i'd moved back for my music career, which had been blowing up since 2019, and now i was here, back in the city where it had all started. where we had started.
the award show was buzzing with energy, and i was trying to keep my cool. but as i stood in the crowd, my eyes scanned the room, looking for someone i wasn't sure i was ready to see again. and then, there she was. billie.
the sight of her hit me like a punch to the gut. all those years, all those memories, they came rushing back in a flood. she hadn't changed much, still that same electric energy, still so effortlessly her. but now she was... different. grown up. her success was undeniable, and seeing her here, like this, brought back every feeling i thought i'd buried.
our eyes met from across the room, and for a second, everything else faded away. she smiled, that same smile that used to make my heart race. and suddenly, it was like no time had passed at all.
but it had.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── i was enchanted to meet you. ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
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