Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── i'll spend forever wondering if you knew. ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
that first night in l.a., we weren't supposed to be anything more than friends. it was after one of her shows, the energy still buzzing in her eyes, and we ended up on her balcony. the city stretched out below us, a sea of lights, and she was laughing at something i'd said. i couldn't even remember what it was—probably something stupid—but the sound of her laughter had me hooked.
before i knew it, her hand was in mine, fingers lacing together like they belonged there. she didn't pull away, didn't act like it was some weird mistake. instead, she gave my hand a gentle squeeze, and for a second, everything else faded away. just her and me, standing under the stars, feeling like the rest of the world didn't matter.
then there was the time in new york, when we snuck into her hotel pool after hours. the place was deserted, and we were both tipsy from too much wine at dinner. billie had stripped down to her underwear without a second thought, laughing as she jumped into the water and splashed me. i hesitated at first, feeling the weight of the moment, but she looked so free, so her.
"come on, ev," she called, her voice echoing in the empty space, her eyes glinting with mischief.
so i jumped in after her, the cold water a shock to my system. she swam up close, her face inches from mine, her breath warm against my wet skin. her fingers brushed my cheek, and without saying a word, she kissed me. soft at first, like she was testing the waters, but then deeper, like she'd been waiting for it all night.
that kiss didn't stay soft for long. her hands slid down my waist, pulling me closer, the heat between us almost unbearable despite the cool water. we barely made it back to her hotel room before we were tearing each other's clothes off, and in the dim light of that room, nothing about us felt casual. every touch, every kiss, every breath we shared—it felt like it meant something.
the nights where we didn't leave the apartment—those were my favorite. just us, tangled up on her couch, watching some random movie that neither of us were paying attention to. she'd rest her head in my lap, her fingers tracing lazy circles on my thigh as i played with her hair. it was quiet, comfortable, the kind of intimacy that didn't need words. we'd end up falling asleep like that, her arm wrapped around my waist, her body pressed against mine, as if she couldn't bear the thought of letting go.
one time, after a late-night drive, we ended up at this lookout point just outside the city. she parked the car, and we climbed onto the hood, staring up at the stars. it was quiet, the world hushed around us, and for a long time, neither of us said anything.
