Can't Have Both

The Funeral

Tory held onto Robby's hand, as she started greeting people who were early for the funeral. They were the ones who wanted to see the body, before they closed the casket. It had been too much for her, so Robby had made most of the plans, and set up things. All she had to do was smile, wave, give a speech, and then she could be free.

She kept repeating that list. But that wasn't as easy as it seemed. Every time her breathing became uneven, Robby would warn her, and she would attempt to get in control of herself. She didn't want this to be the last time seeing her mom. The body was showing, and she would have to say goodbye in 35 minutes. 

She took a deep breath, and squeezed Robby's hand. He squeezed back. She turned to look at him, and he gave her an encouraging smile. She took another deep breath. No one else was entering, and there was only a few people, all absorbed into saying bye to her mom. Tory buried her head into Robby's chest and took another deep breath. How many until she fully succumbed to tears? She didn't know. But she would try her hardest to hold them in. 

Robby started rubbing her back with his free hand.

" It'll be alright love. You're doing great." He said, unsure what he could have said better.

" It feels like I can't breath." She said, muffled by his suit. He continued rubbing her back in circles.

" It'll be over soon." He replied. She stayed there for a minute, then looked up at him, dropping his hand.

" You're dad said something interesting to me a while back, and I think he might be right..." She tried her hardest to hold in tears. So far she was winning.

" Yeah?" Robby asked, unsure where this was going.

" He said..." She took a deep breath. " This isn't the worst of it. He said after the funeral, when its over, and quiet... that's when it'll hit." She said, looking down. " And I can't get that out of my head." She added, her voice breaking at the end.

" Hey," He said, bringing her in for a hug. " It's ok Tory. I'm here. The other's are here for you I'm sure." He gestured to the Miyagi-Do's who were entering. 

No tears yet. Good. She started saying hi's.

" Tory." Sam said, bringing her in for a hug. Tory returned it, trying as hard as she could not to let tears spill. They were making it hard.

" I got you something." Sam said, giving her a box.

" Sam you didn't need to-"

" Open it when you get home." She said, trying to hide a smile. Tory would have smiled back if she weren't trying to hold in the tears. Sam must have noticed because she said, " I hope you love it!" She was trying to be lively. 

" Tory, I am so sorry for what Sam gave you." Miguel said. Tory gave a confused look, forgetting it was a funeral while curiosity got the better of her, but Miguel, got tugged by Sam, to go find seats. " And I'm sorry for what's about to happen." He said.

So they planned something. The minute Tory saw Johnny she knew. She knew it was over. The actual funeral was in 10 minutes, but she would cry before. Guests were filing in. In 5 minutes she would say bye to the body.

" Tory." Johnny started, but she cut him off.

" I'm about to see the body." She said. He looked confused, so she said, " Please. Please just wait." He understood now, she could tell. She needed this to be easier. For everyone. But especially her. He left her, and Robby slowly let go of her hand.

" You going to be alright? I can go with you if you-"

" It's ok. I think I'll be fine." She said. Robby gave her a hug from behind, then went to say bye.

Her mom's skin was pale, and cold. Tory put her hand onto her cheek.

" I knew this was coming." She whispered. " So why am I shocked?" She asked her mom. She looked, and a part of her just wished her mom would open her eyes, crawl out of her casket, and say it was a prank. She was still hoping this was all a joke.

But it wasn't. She kissed her mom's forehead, and said, " I love you." A tear fell down her face. She wiped it quickly and walked to her seat, unaware of her surroundings. She was vaguely aware that Robby put his arms around her, pulling her in. 

" Friends, family, strangers, we are here to say goodbye to Grace Nichols." Many sniffs were audible, and the sound of noses being blown. Tory squeezed Robby's hand in an attempt to control her emotions. He started rubbing her arms to calm her down.

" Of course this isn't goodbye. This is just wishing her farewell, until we see her again." Tory looked down. She really didn't even want the funeral. It was Robby that had convinced her to recall the place, and schedule. 

It finally came, her turn, to make a speech. She slowly let go of Robby, and made her way up. 

" Uh... thank's for coming." She started, unsure what to say. " I'm Tory Nichols, Grace Nichols daughter." She said, taking a deep breath, then started her speech. " My mom meant a lot to me. She taught me how to care for myself and my little brother Brandon. These last years with her were a gift, and I just want her to know that wherever she is I will always love her." Still not crying, Tory went on to talk about what her mom meant to her, added a fun memory, and anything else she remembered. 

When she was finished she went back to her seat, and watched as other people went, made speeches, and the funeral ended. They went to bury the body, then it was over. Robby offered Tory to spend the night with them, and she accepted, needing a distraction. 

When they got there, Johnny finally cornered her, and talked to her.

" Tory. How are you?" He asked. 

" Fine."

" Look, I won't say much, because I know how much it hurts, but if you ever need anything we're here. Robby obviously is." He added. " You're tough, but no one is tough enough to handle the death of their mom without help. And remember what I told you." He added. Tory didn't need to be reminded, so she nodded. She went to sit on the couch with Robby, after Johnny left to hang out with Carmen.

" So this is it." She said. " We're done with karate." She was looking at the TV, but her eyes were distant. Like she was thinking something she was trying to forget.

" Yeah. " Robby replied. Tory's head turned, and she looked at him. They looked into each other's eyes for a minute, then Robby started talking.

" Everything's changing. Everyone's off to college, and there's no more karate. " 

" One thing hasn't changed." Tory said.

" What?"

" I still  love you." She said, with a smile.

" I love you too." He replied, pulling her in for a kiss.

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Note : Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed Can't Have Both as much as I enjoyed writing it!