Maybe it was an unhealthy coping mechanism, but he did not know any better. He was having a really bad day, and he craved it. He craved the way that those shiny silver razors cut his skin. He gotten his hands on anything that he could get without the Winchesters being too suspicious, shaving razors, pencil sharpeners, scissors, abandoned kitchen knives, anything. If he had a bad, sad, or otherwise stressful day, he would just go into his room at night and cut away. He cut his arms and legs, mostly. Sometimes his shoulders and stomach too. It did not really matter because the Winchesters had never seen him wit his trenchcoat, pants, or shirt off.
Tonight, he was cutting especially deep. He knew about the different layers of skin and he wanted to hit the subcutaneous layer. He had already been through his dermis and epidermis before. He wanted to go his muscle, but knew that was probably not a good idea.
And so, he was sitting on the floor, cutting away. Whenever he heard the doorknob twist. {Fuck.} He thought. {I forgotten to lock it!!} He quickly shoved his blade and other supplies under his bed and put his trenchcoat on.
And then, Sam walked in.
"Hey, Cas. Whatcha doin?''
"O-oh um...hey, Sam. Nothing much, how about you?''
"I was just reading but I came in here to ask if you wanted to go on a hunt...'' He squinted his eyes a bit. "Is that...blood on your trench coat sleeve?''
Cas gulped and hid his arms behind his back. "N-no...it is not my blood.''
"Who else's would it be?''
"It was from a hunt.''
"But it looks fresh.''
Now, Cas was getting angry. "Just fucking drop it, Sam. Alright?''
A look of hurt flashed across Sam's features, but it was gone just as quickly. He taken a step towards Cas. "No. I will not drop it. I need to know that you are ok.''
"As you can see, i am perfectly fine.''
"Then why the hell are there blood droplets on the floor, hm?''
"Shit...'' Cas whispered.
"Look, if you have a wound, dont be embarrassed about it. Have you any idea how many times I have had to stitch Dean up wit floss and he has had to do the same for me? Quite a few times. So take care of it, please.''
Cas sighed in relief. Of course, Sam thought that it was just a wound. "Ok...thank you, Sam. I apologise for being rude.''
"All good, Cas.'' And so he left.
Cas sighed shakily, as he pulled his trenchcoat off. He knew that he was going to have to wash it now because his cuts bled through the fabric He gotten some bandaids, cream, and gauze and started cleaning and attending to his wounds.
After he finished, he thought twice about cutting so deep. Maybe it was time to face the music and either get clean secretly or tell the Winchesters.
Maybe someday, but not to-day. He would try again to-morrow.
YOU ARE READING
supernatural whumptober 2024
Fanfictionhey , guyz !! this iz my 1st year srsly participating in whumptober, and I am so exited to share my work wit you !! I started working on these prompts in sept, and I still have some to do, but everything should be published on time!! all of these wi...
