The Aspect's Of Being Arranged

Collateral damage to the working of my universe (chapter5)

One thing I truly knew, in the pit of my stomach, in the centre of my bones,knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest – was how love gave someone the power to break you

-Stephanie meyer,  Twilight

As I get up from the bed today, my eyes sting. Maybe because of crying too much yesterday. While i get ready i realise one thing, this is the pattern of life. This is how everybody's living and this is the way to live it. No matter how much I cry, run-away from the fact, its going to do no good. This has to happen at one point or the other. So i realise that its time for me to act a little more mature than I was yesterday. I need to sort these things out properly so that I dont end up hurting myself or the people who genuinely care for me. They're doing this for my own good.

   I have to be brave enough to let this go in a smooth way. I can't be in my own big bubble all my life. I need to put away the immature aanisha into the dustbin. And I am going to try my best today.
As i finish my morning routine, I see mom and dad getting ready.
Ok? 
"what's happening? You going somwher?" I ask
"yes. We are going shopping. And as much as I want you to come I know you have your exam tomorrow to study for. " mom tells me
"Yeah, your right."
"And there's not much time for us to go shopping later,. And hey did I tell you,  that your marriage is going to be on the 26 th of next month?" Dad speaks up
"Oh... What? "
"yeah. Exactly a month from today"
"But how are we going to do the preparations?"
"Its going to be a simple marriage, with few close friends and family so there's no need for an over the top grandly looking wedding"
"So its confirmed then?"
"yes it is, I told you that yesterday"
"ya but I never thought the dates were also fixed, not to mention the surprise that its just next month"
"You got what you wanted, right? Then why do you seem so upset about it? "
"I'm not upset, I'm just surprised that its so early. But then its ok I will get through the shock" I fake a laugh so that I hide my emotions which are so desperate to come out right now.
"Ok we better leave" mom says and then they leave.
I immediately console myself, and try to remember the talk I gave myself this morning. This had to happen. There's no point in being sad, or backing away.
So I just let my thoughts take control of me for a while. I eat the lunch mom's already cooked.
yuhana's just back from school
"how did you do, your exam?"
"great, never expected it to be so easy"
"oh, good for you"
"why do you look like that?"
"like what" I ask
"like your gonna die in about two minutes time. Aren't you happy that you'll be leaving me only after 6 months. Because I should be sad for the fact that I have to bear your torture for another six month"
"You got a great point. Its just that.... Never mind. You will understand it when you come around my situation. "
"Yea, whatever"
She leaves and goes back to her room.
As soon as i finish lunch. I text huma for a few minutes and then go ahead to take my book now. Its accounts tomorrow and it sucks like anything. I study for an hour or so, until the bell rings. I get up and open the door. Mom and dad are back, they look dead tired. Mom shows all the dresses and jewellery's she's bought. And dad just goes onto lying on the bed. He asks me to get the balm from his drawer. Not really a shopping person, is he. Can't blame him though, mom goes to every shop like as though she owns everything. I get up and look in the drawer for the balm, As soon as I open it I find something, A PHOTO. A photo of a guy, a guy who I have already seen, the same guy who I saw near my college yesterday, the same guy who had a girlfriend. I freak out thinking what on earth his photo must be doing in my dad's drawer. I immediately pick the balm and the photo. I give the balm to him and show him the photo.
"whose this?" I ask
He is smiling,  what's the matter with parents these days. Urgh..
"He is Ammar"
As soon as the words Ammar strike my head, I totally lose balance of the situation, shock after shock since morning. What on earth is my life. Opera soap drama it is!
As i enter my room.  I m confused, I dont know what to do. One part of my heart is jumping around wildly with happiness at the thought of getting married to this guy. There's another heartbreaking part which tells me, he already has a girlfriend. The person I am getting married to already has a girlfriend! I know for a fact that the girl can't be his sister because she doesn't behave or look like his sister. And then, there's my brain which constantly reminds me of the accounts exam tomorrow. All of this at once. My mind and heart are just going to burst out of my body.  I need to sleep. As I try to sleep. I weep. My tears coming out on full force than ever before. I deliberately get up and decide something. I get back and start studying, there's no point in sleeping I ain't getting any of it today.
So i keep awake the whole night studying. Not one bit sleep was I allowed.