The Gentle Queen: HOTD

Aftermath|13|

Trigger Warning (Talks of Abuse sexual and physical talks of miscarriages)

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"The Lord, hand your grace," Ser Arryk announced softly to not wake the baby in his bassinet. Lillian didn't turn to look at her father, only focusing on the flames that danced across logs of wood.

"Your Grace," Otto greeted tensely, his daughter had possibly ruined everything he worked for the last fifteen years.

"Why are you here? Come to tell me that I have embarrassed our family name, you, or that I have held myself in an unbecoming way, or that I lost composure and acted in a way a queen should never." Her words had attitude as she spoke, messing with the sleeves of her dress.

"All those things are true," Otto stated before continuing, "But if you go to the king and plead your case, a mother trying to protect her son blinded by fear and pain for your child, he will understand he loves you, Lillian; he will forget you even came near Rhaenyra with a dagger or that you disrespected him in front of his people."

"You know you told me something of the same thing years ago." Lilly whispered, turning to look at the man she was supposed to call her father, the man who was supposed to protect her.

"What?"

"When I embarrassed the king by having a miscarriage in front of hundreds of people when he was celebrating Jacaery's second name day with a Tourney, you told me to apologize, beg for forgiveness, tell him I did my best and that I love him, and you said that he would forgive me and forget the way I embarrassed because he loved me."

"Lillian-"

"That night, as I still bled out the remains of my child, he took a belt and hit me over and over and over, and he only stopped once he grew tired, not because he thought I learned my lesson but because his arm was tired. I look at those scars every day."

"You are his queen!"

"I never wanted to be his queen! I wanted to be a child the child I was before I was imprisoned in a castle raped every night and day and forced to carry to lose to birth child after child, knowing I will never be able to truly protect them from monsters like you and him."

Silence took over them. Tears fell down her flushed cheeks looking at her father, who looked ashamed, but his words did not match, "We all must make sacrifices."

"What do you know of sacrifices?"

When he did not answer her question, she scoffed and stepped closer to him. "Absolutely nothing because you have never done something selfless because you are a selfish, horrible excuse of a man; you are a second son; you have nothing and are nothing."

"You are queen because of me, my blood is in the royal family for generations," he argued, causing her to smirk.

"No, I am queen because the king liked a little girl with red hair and was the friend of his own daughter; my blood is in the Targaryen bloodline because of the sons and daughter I carried. I saved the Targaryen linage by giving birth to six sons who will carry on the name, not you, because you have womb."

"How dare you speak to me like this?"

"Quite easily, actually, because I am the fucking queen. You may be the king's hand, but I am the one he truly listens to. I don't need your advice. Now get out."

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"I should have been there. I am sorry, Rhaenyra." Laenor said, her voice filled with guilt as he looked at the stitching on her wrist.

"Those should be our house words," she joked, looking down, the mood turning somber once again as he turned away.

"I have fought dreadful enemies, but I could not defend my dear sister far from home, and in agony I could not defend you." Laenor voice broke as he spoke.

"Sit down," she demanded, and he did.

"Aemond called our sons bastards, and Jace called Aemonds brothers bastards from the queen's guards," she told him, watching as his face went tense, shock taking over his features.

"I have failed you, Rhaenyra, our marriage; all of it I have tried; our boys, I do love them."

"I know"

"Deeply but I have not perhaps loved them enough."

"I had hoped to bear your children the few times we laid together; things might have been different."

"I hate the gods for making me the way I am."

"I do not think you are an honorable man with a good heart, and that is rare, Laenor."

The two sat in silence in their own heads. Rhaenyra stared at the wound she had along her wrist, breaking the silence. "I thought Lilly and I could make peace, and we did for a short moment, but peace has been lost and blood has been shed."

"Rhaenyra"

"I made far too many mistakes, and I have been stupid to think I would inherit the throne easily. The queen fears for her children, and I have given her no reason to not. I have allowed my father to do cruel things to her. I was never a true friend to her, but she has made my life a living hell."

"She would not usurp the throne; the queen is far better than that." Laenor disagreed

"Not her, but the people she is surrounded by will, and can you have failed to protect our family or defend it? You go off adventuring to wars and explorations of new seas and lands, leaving me to defend myself and our sons."

"I am pledging myself to you and our children; I will do whatever it takes, Rhaenyra."

"I need a husband who is feared and respected, someone I can be married to and not have maids and squires whispering behind my back or nipping at my heels with new rumors and lies." She cut him off. She had heard this speech before and didn't need to hear it again.

"And who can do that for you?"

"Daemon can"

"Daemon doesn't want you. He loved Laena, and he loves Lilly as a daughter. He would never betray her. You messed it up eleven years ago."

"Your wrong Daemon loves me; he liked Laena, but his heart belongs to me," she argued, shaking her head.

"No, it does not Rhaenyra! You are wrong and crazy; he does not love you and will not marry you."

"Then I have someone else who will."

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Viserys and Lilly sat in his chambers in silence—a tense silence as they drank their tea. It had been two days since the horrid event, and they couldn't leave just yet between the king and Aemond's health.

"Viserys I-"

"I don't wish to speak about it," the king cut his wife off, making her sigh.

"Then please just hear me out," she begged, tearing up, causing him to give in, gesturing to the seat next to him.

"I am utterly ashamed of who I became tonight, but I saw our little boy's eye being ripped from his head, and no one seemed to care, but me, our son, the best parts of you, and me, maimed and damaged by the two boys who have been tormenting him for a year, I acted rashl filled to the brim with resentment and anger towards Rhaenyra, and seeing our little boy broke the wall, and I lost control."

"It is all right, my love. I understand Aemond is the best of me, and to see him like that, you reacted as any mother would."

"Thank you, my love," Lilly whispered, fighting a smile as she kissed his cheek before standing up.

"I must go check on Aemond. The maester said his eye may be starting to become infected, and I am worried."

"Go, check on him," the king dismissed her, rubbing his head as it felt fuzzy and the need to sleep hitting him suddenly. Lillian walked out of the room with a small but noticeable smirk pulling at her lips, walking elegantly down the hall, but her steps were quicker than normal, wishing to get to her son.

She refused to let her babies be hurt anymore; she held no more love for those bastards; the only things that mattered were her children, her image, and how to kill the king, his daughter, and her father.