Her Broken Alpha Prince (Book 18 of The Regal Eclipse Pack Series)

Chapter 33

Two Years Later
Knox - Age 32

Knox slammed his fist into the punching bag, the repetitive motion soothing him somewhat, working to calm the underlying fury that seemed to always be simmering under the surface.

He'd been in England now for a month and he was growing bored with it all. Bored with sightseeing, bored with being a tourist. He'd found a small town to crash in for the time being with a decent gym. The town was vaguely familiar to him, drawing him to it.

He was always bored anymore. Bored and restless. He was unsettled and constantly angry. He knew he should go home and settle back into his old routine, working for Remington Enterprises and being around family and his pack mates, but he just couldn't find it in himself to do so. Not anymore.

Knox sort of felt like he'd lost himself. He felt like there was the old him and the new him. There was the smart, happy, pre-Caelan businessman who was on his game and optimistically searching for his mate. The one who was confident and in control. Now he was the moody, angry, unsettled, post-Caelan wanderer who had no clue what he was doing with himself. He hated this version of himself too. But at the same time, he didn't have it in him to change it. It was like he was stuck in this part of his life with no way out. 

He'd been wandering for the last two years, since he'd left the states, visiting different countries, seeing different things, trying different foods. Most of the countries he visited, he'd been to at some point before his life had been upended, as Knox Remington, businessman and future CEO of Remington Enterprises.

Now he visited as Knox, the wanderer. The guy who had no clear destination, no clear plan. The guy who was pissed off all the time, and barely got along with the wolf in his mind. The guy who didn't know what it was to be happy anymore. The guy who had no real purpose in life anymore.

He was different now, no longer the clean cut young man who usually wore three piece tailored suits. Instead he sported a beard, and had gotten tattoos in different countries he visited. He more often looked almost homeless instead of the Alpha Prince he truly was. He kept that persona hidden away.

Knox occasionally came across other werewolves, but he kept his own scent masked so that he appeared human to them and was mostly ignored, which was what he preferred, not wanting to draw any attention to himself.

He'd come to Europe a year ago and had been wandering around, doing the whole tourist thing for a while, before he'd finally stopped in England, but he needed more. He was restless, antsy and angry, his only solace when he found a gym to workout in. 

He'd gotten himself back up to where he'd been before his wolf years, as he referred to them. His muscles were back to being more defined and he didn't look like a wimp anymore, capable of having his ass kicked by an unranked wolf. 

Taking his anger out on the punching bag was helping some, but not enough. He'd almost rather take it out on someone. Someone who would fight back and throw their own punches. He wanted to test himself and see what all he remembered from his years of training with Ragnar. A feeling of nostalgia ran through him, and he shoved it into the family box, then popped it into that closet in his mind and slammed the door on it. 

He'd gotten good over the last six years of compartmentalizing his thoughts, keeping the ones that involved mostly Calean and that whole debacle tightly put away. He'd open the family one occasionally, but not often. Usually he just focused on his current shitty life, keeping his sorrow, pain and anger under wraps. Or at least trying to. That didn't always work in his favor though.

Knox wanted to take his simmering anger out on her. Which was hilarious because even if she was standing right there in front of him, he wasn't sure he could, which irritated him quite a bit. Yes, he'd killed her, but he hadn't even done that in a cruel way. Even if she deserved it. It wasn't as though he cared about her; he didn't. He hated her.

But she was still a woman, and he hadn't wanted any ties left with her. He'd just wanted her dead and him out of there. The fucking cu... he stopped his thoughts, shoving them in the Caelan box, and slammed the door on that as well. He really didn't need to think about her or he'd be buying the gym a new punching bag.

He still hadn't had sex again either, hadn't even made an attempt at it since Clara. He was still annoyed about that night. He could go out and have sex; he knew that. There had been women that showed an interest in him. Women who would eye fuck him from across the room. But most wouldn't approach him because he didn't give off welcoming vibes. He didn't want to be bothered.

Some would still try though, thinking they could tame the hot bad boy persona he apparently projected according to one woman who had approached him. But it didn't matter what they looked like. He wasn't interested. But he really wasn't interested if they were blond. That was an instant turn off.

But it seemed as though his dick was working just fine. He woke up frequently with a hard on and had jerked off more than once. Even that had been difficult at first, as his thoughts had always gone back to Caelan, which pissed him off royally and had gotten rid of any lust he was feeling. It would instantly put him in a horrible mood for the day, and had made him despise that bitch even more. He hated the way she could control his thoughts from the grave.

It had taken him a while to figure out how to get around that. Around her. Another reason to hate her. He'd spent some time lying in bed, thinking over the other women he'd fucked. Clara couldn't count, because while he had enjoyed his time with her, he hadn't fucked her, and his thoughts had drifted back to Caelan way more times than he'd cared for, pissing him off.

The next woman who entered his mind was Leila. She was the other one that stood out to him. Pretty little Leila with her gorgeous round, perfect ass. That woman was his most memorable fuck. She'd been so beautiful and so responsive. And she wasn't blond. He could easily get lost in his thoughts of her. She was the one woman who was perfectly capable of overriding his thoughts of Caelan. And unlike Caelan, he actually knew what it was like to be buried inside of her sweet little body. He could remember the noises she made when he'd made her cum. She'd responded to him and his dick had responded to her.

And how long had it been? Ten years now? He still occasionally dreamed about her. Not often, but every once in a while. 

But Leila was probably happily married and had children. He sort of hoped she was happy. He didn't think about that often though. He usually just imagined her naked and underneath him.

Leila had become the one he jerked off to. If he could, he would find her and fuck her again, just to give himself some fresh new memories. He could almost imagine taking her as a Chosen Mate. He should have back then and saved himself from all of this mess. 

But he didn't need a mate now. He was too messed up. Way too messed up. He needed to get his head on straight, but frankly, he wasn't quite sure how. It had been six long years since Caelan, and Knox just couldn't seem to find himself again. It was one of the things that made him so angry. He was just plain down lonely and miserable. Maybe he should just go home. Maybe being around family would help him sort out his life. 

But he was so angry. It didn't take much to set him off, and he was better off alone. He recognized that. He hated it, because he knew he was lonely, but going home wasn't a good idea.