I excuse myself from the set. trying to act normal even though my mind is thinking something improper. The second I step inside the rest house, dumiritso agad ako sa kwarto na nakalaan sa amin ni Lan. I need to cool off and collect myself. Malamig ang kwarto dahil sa aircon pero nilakasan ko pa ito. the coldness does nothing to calm the heat still buzzing under my skin. I sit down on the bed and take a deep breath. closing my eyes, trying to shake off everything I'm feeling.
"Breath in, breath out." I mutter to myself, doing my best to control the tension building inside me. But it's no use-every thought keeps going back to Lan, to the way he touched me. the heat of his skin against mine. It's driving me crazy, and I don't know how long I can keep this under control.
I hear the door creak open, and I look up. Lan steps inside his face calm but with a slight furrow of concern on his brow.
"You okay?" he asks, his voice soft. steady. like he genuinely wants to know if something's wrong.
I quickly sit up, trying to act normal. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." I say, waving him off. But the truth is, my heart is still racing, and I can feel the flush creeping up my neck. I start doing the breath in, breath out method again, hoping it will help, but it's not working. Not when Lan is standing right there. looking at me like that.
He steps closer and bago pa ako makaiwas, he place his hand gently on my forehead, checking to see if I'm sick.
"You're red." he says, his tone matter-of-fact but with a hint of worry. "Are you sure you are okay?"
His touch is cool, soothing, but it only makes the fire inside me burn hotter. Every ounce of control I had- every bit of restraint I've been holding onto-just vanishes in that moment. His hand is still resting on my forehead and I can't take it anymore. The truth spills out of me before I even realize what I'm saying.
"Lan..." I start, my voice shaky. I grab his wrist, gently pulling his hand away. "I'm not sick. I'm just... I'm just trying really hard to control myself."
His brows furrow. clearly confused. "Control yourself?"
I look away, my face burning with embarrassment, but I know I can't keep this to myself anymore. "Yeah. I mean... earlier, when we were shooting... when you were touching me. when you walked out like that... it got to me, okay?" saad ko, pilit na ipinapaintindi sa kanya ang sitwasyon.
There is a moment of silence, and I force myself to look up at him. unsure of how he will react. I expect him to be weirded out but instead he just stares at me, his expression unreadable.
I swallow hard, my voice lowering as I continue. "I've been having these thoughts. Lewd thoughts and I've been trying to push them away but it's hard-especially when you're so close to me."
I feel the weight of my confession hang in the air between us, and for a second. I wish I could take it all back. I can't believe I just said that.
Lan doesn't move he just staring at me with those deep, unreadable eyes. My heart pounding in my chest. the tension in the air is thick, almost suffocating. I'm not sure what's going through his mind, but before I can say anything else. he breaks the silence.
"What do you want?" he asks, his voice calm.
I blink, taken aback by his question. What do I want? I swallow, feeling a wave of nerves wash over me. There's only one thing that is been on my mind. can I really say it out loud?
I bite my lip. my voice barely a whisper. "I... I want to kiss you."
As soon as the words leave my mouth. I regret them. Lan's staring at me, his gaze intense, and I can feel the panic rising inside me. He's not saying anything, just looking at me like he's trying to figure something out. The silence is unbearable, and I quickly try to take back what I said
"Forget it." I say, shaking my head. the embarrassment flooding my face. "I'm sorry. Just forget I said anything
But then, to my surprise Lan nods.
Slowly. deliberately, he gives me a small nod. like he is giving me permission. My heart skips a beat,
I take a shaky breath, my pulse racing. He is really letting me do this. I move closer, slowly, my eyes locked on his. My hand reaches up, gently resting on his cheek, and his skin is warm beneath my fingertips.
For a moment, I hesitate. my mind swirling with a million thoughts but then I close the gap, leaning in and press my lips softly against his.
The world seems to stop for a second. and all I can feel is the warmth of his lips against mine. It's soft, gentle and I can't help but savor the moment. The heat that had been building inside me explodes into something else entirely, something deeper, more intense. I pull him closer. my hand sliding into his hair as I deepen the kiss, pouring everything
I've been feeling into it.
Lan doesn't pull away. He is still letting me take the lead, and it's driving me crazy in the best way possible and now I don't want to stop.
When I finally pull back, breathless. I search his face for any sign of regret, but he is as calm as ever. his gaze still steady on me. My heart is racing, my mind a whirlwind of emotions, but all I can think about is how right that felt.
