We continue our routine being together in the condo and also going in the shoot together ganun lang ang routine namin, Lan' name are still trending because of media who are digging who really he is and they found out he is an artist under Mmande Management.
we are now doing our second photoshoot together We stood there, facing each other, the camera lights illuminating us as if we were the only two people in the room. The photographer gave clear instructions “Okay, now, lock eyes. You need to look as if you’re captivated by each other. No distractions.”
Lan turned to me first, his gaze steady and calm, as usual. He had this way of making eye contact that seemed effortless—cold yet captivating, like he was studying every detail without really trying. Meanwhile, my heart was beating so hard that I was sure it was audible. I swallowed, trying to keep my composure, but the intensity of his eyes was getting to me.
"C'mon, Xian focus!," I told myself, forcing a calm expression. I met his gaze, feeling the pressure from everyone watching us, but more from him. His stare was unwavering as if it didn’t even bother him to hold that kind of eye contact for long.
"Closer, a little closer," the photographer directed.
We moved in, I could practically feel the warmth radiating from his body, even though we weren’t touching. My breathing became shallow as I forced myself to maintain the eye contact, despite every nerve in my body telling me to look away.
Lan’s eyes stayed on mine, and for a second, I saw something shift in his gaze just a flicker, something softer but it disappeared as quickly as it came. He remained calm, his expression unreadable, like he was completely in control of the moment. habang ako parang gusto ko nang huminga ng malalim pero pinipigilan ko dahil ayokong magmukhang obvious na kinakabahan ako.
“Perfect,” the photographer said, snapping away. “Hold that pose.”
I resisted the urge to glance at anyone else in the room, especially since Lan was still staring at me like it was the most natural thing in the world. In my mind, I kept counting the seconds hoping this part of the shoot would end soon. My legs felt heavy and the pounding in my chest was almost unbearable, but I couldn’t break first.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the photographer said, “Alright, that’s good! You two can relax for a bit.”
I exhaled slowly, breaking eye contact and turning away just to give myself a moment. Lan, on the other hand casually stepped back like it was nothing to him. “You okay?” he asked with his usual calm voice.
I managed a nod. “Yeah, of course. Easy lang.” But deep down, I wasn’t so sure. Every time I had to be close to him, it was getting harder to ignore this strange pull between us—this unspoken tension I couldn’t put into words.
He raised an eyebrow at me clearly unconvinced, but didn’t push the topic further. Instead he grabbed a bottle of water from the side and handed it to me. “Here, you look like you could use this.”
I took the bottle, my fingers brushing against his for a split second and that was enough to send another wave of nervous energy through me. “Thanks,” I muttered, taking a sip while trying to calm down.
After taking a long sip of water, I stood there quietly for a moment, trying to steady my nerves.
Lan, on the other hand was calm as ever, casually scrolling through his phone while we waited for the next setup. The room was busy with the crew adjusting lights and cameras but all I could focus on was him.
I glanced at him again, stealing a quick look as he leaned against the wall, his posture relaxed. He seemed so unbothered like nothing fazed him. Meanwhile, here I was, still trying to catch my breath from that intense eye contact earlier. My thoughts were interrupted by the photographer calling us back.
“Alright, next scene. It’s going to be a bit more intimate. Lan, you’ll stand behind Xian, looking over his shoulder. Just act natural.”
I felt my heart skip again. Natural? Sure, if I wasn’t losing my mind every time he was too close.
We moved back to the center of the room. Lan stepped behind me, positioning himself as instructed his presence immediately overwhelming. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck and it took everything in me not to react. I was aware of every slight movement he made, every shift of his body as he got into position.
“Ready,” the photographer said, snapping a few more shots. “Lan, lean in a bit more.”
He did, just enough that I could feel his chest brush against my back. His hand rested lightly on my shoulder and I tensed up, my pulse quickening again. I kept my gaze fixed straight ahead, trying to act composed.
“You okay?” Lan’s voice was soft, barely a whisper near my ear. It was enough to send a chill down my spine.
“Yeah,” I replied, though my voice sounded more strained than I intended. I swallowed hard, focusing on not letting my nerves show.
The photographer continued snapping commenting how good the chemistry was between us. Chemistry!
“Alright, perfect! That’s a wrap for today,” the photographer announced. I exhaled slowly, stepping away from Lan as if I needed to regain some space.
Lan stretched his arms, looking completely unbothered as always. “You did good,” he said, his eyes glancing over at me.
I forced a smile. “Thanks. You too.”
As we headed back to the dressing room, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted between us. Lan was still the same—stoic, mysterious, and guarded—but there were moments, like today, when it felt like he was letting me in.
Back at the condo, Shinzui greeted us as usual, weaving between our legs as we kicked off our shoes. Lan scooped the cat up in his arms, a rare smile tugging at his lips as he cradled her.
“Want to order something for dinner?” I asked, still trying to act normal despite the thoughts racing through my head.
Lan looked at me, his expression softening. “Sure, whatever you want.” He carried Shinzui to the sofa and sit down, the cat settling comfortably in his lap. As he sat there, it struck me again how much had changed between us over the past weeks.
While I grabbed my phone to order food I couldn’t help but glance at him, wondering how long i could go on like this and with each passing moment, I was starting to realize kung ano itong nararamdaman ko and I'm scared to admit that I swing that way... did I swing that way?...
