Undercover Love

Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Only Thing Scarier Than Flying? My Love Life!

The whole way to the airport, tears are streaming down my face. It feels like my heart is physically breaking into pieces. Every breath is a reminder that Ace isn't next to me. I stare out the window at the California landscape, watching the palm trees and mountains blur into the distance. I'll never see this place the same way again. It's not just California I'm leaving behind—it's the memories, the promises, and Ace. All of it leaves a hollow ache in my chest.

When we reach the airport, I hastily pay the driver, practically running to check in. I go through security like a robot, feeling numb, like I'm watching my own body from somewhere outside of myself. Once I make it to my terminal, I make a beeline to Dunkin'. I buy half a dozen donuts and a pumpkin spice milkshake, as if the sugary goodness can somehow patch up the gaping hole in my chest. I chug the milkshake, the cold, creamy taste doing nothing to comfort me. I devour the donuts, one after another, barely tasting them. I try to read my book, flipping through pages, but none of the words register. I feel like a mess, a total wreck, but I keep my composure. Barely.

After what feels like forever, they finally call my boarding group. I get on the plane, my heart pounding as I find my seat. I sit down by the window, trying to calm myself down, but I can feel the anxiety growing with every passing second. Ace isn't here with me. He isn't there to hold my hand, to comfort me, to tell me everything is going to be okay. And it's not. Nothing is okay.

I force myself to breathe slowly, in and out, but I feel myself starting to hyperventilate. I signal for the flight attendant, my voice trembling as I ask, "Can I have a Sprite, please?" I hope the familiar, bubbly drink will help settle my nerves. She hands it to me with a kind smile, and I take a sip, trying to focus on the cool, fizzy taste. Slowly, the tightness in my chest begins to ease, exhaustion taking over as my eyes grow heavier. Before I know it, I've fallen asleep.

When I wake up, the plane has already landed in Philadelphia. My body aches from the cramped seat, and my heart still feels heavy. I get off the plane, my legs feeling shaky as I make my way through the terminal. The familiar smell of fast food hits me, and I make a pit stop, ordering everything I can think of—fries, a veggie burger, onion rings. I eat my feelings, stuffing my mouth until I can't taste anything but salt. Maybe if I eat enough, I can drown out the pain inside me.

I wonder if Ace has made it home by now. I imagine him walking through his front door, maybe thinking of me as he does. Does he miss me? Does he regret everything he's done, every choice he's made that brought us to this point? I shove the thoughts aside. It doesn't matter now. We're done.

I board my second flight, my mind wandering to Cassie. Sweet Cassie—my younger sister, the one person I know I can count on. We grew up thick as thieves, always looking out for each other, and I can't wait to see her. We live about three hours away from each other, but with her being pregnant, I want to be there for her more than ever. Maybe it's partly because I need to feel like I can still take care of someone. My love for Ace has failed, but maybe, just maybe, I can still be a good sister.

The plane touches down in Albany. The city isn't flashy like New York City, but it has its own charm—a slower pace, surrounded by nature. I grab my bag and hurry out, scanning the crowd until I see Cassie. She's standing there, her face lighting up the moment she sees me. Her hand rests protectively on her stomach, and I can barely tell she's pregnant, but it's there—a tiny bump that makes my heart swell.

"Cassie!" I yell, running toward her, my eyes welling up again. She opens her arms, and I practically fall into her embrace, holding her tight. All the pain, the heartache—it all seems to fade, just for a moment, as I hold my little sister.

"I missed you so much," she whispers into my shoulder, her voice cracking.

"I missed you too," I reply, my voice thick with emotion. I pull back just enough to look at her, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. "Look at you. You're glowing."

She rolls her eyes with a laugh. "I feel like a balloon."

We both chuckle, the laughter easing some of the weight on my chest. Her boyfriend stands a few steps away, giving us a moment before stepping forward. I turn to him, wiping the tears from my face.

"Hey, Tyler," I say, extending my hand.

He takes it with a smile. "Hey, Adriana. It's good to see you again."

"Likewise," I say, my voice still shaky. He's a good guy, and as much as I hate the idea of my baby sister growing up, I know he makes her happy. Tyler hung out with Cassie a lot when they were in middle school, and it's so cute to see their relationship now.

Cassie hooks her arm through mine, pulling me toward the exit. "Come on, let's get you home. I made up the guest room for you."

I nod, grateful to have somewhere that feels like home to go to. As we walk through the airport, Cassie keeps glancing at me, concern etched on her face.

"You okay?" she finally asks as we get to the car.

I hesitate for a moment, then force a smile. "I will be."

She squeezes my arm, her eyes softening. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

I nod again, the tears threatening to fall once more. "I know, Cass. I know."

We get in the car, Tyler driving us back to their place as Cassie talks about her pregnancy, about the cravings and the doctor appointments. I listen, letting her voice wash over me, grounding me. It's easier to focus on her, on her joy, than to think about the emptiness I feel inside.

When we finally get to their apartment, I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. Cassie leads me inside, showing me the guest room she set up, and I drop my bags onto the floor, exhaustion hitting me like a wave.

Cassie gives me one last hug before leaving me to settle in. "We'll talk more tomorrow, okay? Just rest now."

I nod, holding her tight for a moment before letting go. "Thanks, Cassie. For everything."

She gives me a soft smile, then closes the door behind her, leaving me alone in the room. I sit down on the bed, my eyes staring blankly at the floor. It's quiet here, too quiet, and without the distractions of the airport or the plane, my mind goes back to Ace.

I think of all the times we've laughed together, all the moments that made me think we had something real. I think of his smile, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he looked at me, like I was the only person in the world. And then I think of the fights, the heartbreak, the feeling of being abandoned over and over again.

I close my eyes, a tear slipping down my cheek. It wasn't supposed to be this way. We were supposed to make it. But life doesn't care about "supposed to." It just happens, whether we're ready for it or not.

Curling up on the bed, I hug a pillow to my chest, letting the tears fall freely now. I am safe here, surrounded by family. Maybe I'll be okay eventually. Maybe one day, I'll be able to think of Ace without feeling like my heart is being torn apart.

But for now, I let myself cry. I let myself feel the pain, the loss, the heartache. And slowly, somewhere in the midst of the tears, I begin to let him go.