Let Her Go

14. Closure

9:49pm, 20th August 2015 - Nashville

Taylor sat in her office, moonlight peaking through the slightly drawn blinds. She scrolled through her design proposals on her computer, adjusting some of the graphics. Her mind had been so occupied over the last few days with Harry that she'd fallen quite far behind with her work. She needed these proposals for the meeting on Wednesday or she'd be reprimanded for sure.

She took a quick sip from the diet coke can to her side without taking her eyes off the computer screen. She continued to scroll through the different design options for the business suite of the hotel. She had to choose a carpet, wallpaper and furniture that all matched within the next 48 hours. She cursed at herself for leaving this till the very last minute, never before had she fallen so behind with her work, it was just someone had been playing on her mind.

She sat back in her chair sighing heavily, rubbing her eyes harshly with her fingers. She'd been staring at a computer screen since 8 o clock this morning. She noticed in the corner of the screen a notification popped up alerting her she had an email. She opened it straight away.

Unread Mail (1)
h.styles@ntlworld.com

She clicked on the email upon seeing Harry's name.

Taylor,
Here are your flight details. Make sure you print it and take it to the airport with you as you're not the one who booked it, they'll need proof. Iv also attached the wedding invite so you have details about the venue. I have arranged a driver to pick you up from Heathrow when you arrive, he will take you to the hotel.
H.

Taylor shook her head at the amount Harry had done for her. She opened the attachment to see a picture of a wedding invitation, beautiful vintage writing stating Harry and Kendall's names, the venue where the ceremony was being held and the times. She suddenly began to get cold feet. She thought about how insane this was. Going to her ex's wedding! Who does that?

She went down to the kitchen and opened a bottle of fizzy wine, she told herself she deserved it after the week she'd had. She sipped the wine, holding it close to her chest once she brought it away from her lips. Her finger tapped against the side of the glass as she was in deep thought.

"If I go to the wedding, it will ultimately help me get over him. Yes, it will give me closure, I will finally be able to move on"

She knew she was lying to herself but tried to override the little voice in her head that was telling her so. She necked back the last bit of her wine and headed into the living room. She decided she'd had enough of working for one day, her eyes might pop out of their sockets if she concentrates any more!

She thought about putting on a film so wandered over to the hundreds of DVD's she had neatly organised on the shelves next to her TV. She ran her finger along the spines, smiling as she came across a few that her and Harry always watched together. At the end of one of the rows, she noticed a DVD box that had no cover. She pulled it out and examined it. She frowned slightly as she opened the box to see a blank disk. Confusion racked her brain as she tried to figure out what this could be, the only way she could find out is to play it. She knelt down next to the TV and put in the disk, hitting play. She made her way over the sofa and flopped down onto it, folding her legs underneath herself. What came on the screen appeared to be someone adjusting a camera lense, when it came into focus, Taylor's smile soon faded as she saw who the camera was focusing on. It was her, and the voice that was coming from behind the camera was Harry's.

"It's recording babe..."

"Harry don't, I don't wanna be on this"

"I'm making memories, the baby will be able to watch this when he's 18 and see how good looking we once were"

Taylor smiled as she watched herself and Harry on the screen. He followed her around the house recording her. She remembered how Harry bought that camera especially for the arrival of the baby. A smile slowly crept upon her face. He stood next to her and turned the camera so it was capturing his and Taylor's profiles.

"Whos having a baby Tay?..."

Taylor roled her eyes and looked at him. Her blonde curls poking out from under her beanie.

"We are"

Harry turned and they kissed before he scuttled off keeping the camera on his face. He placed it on a surface and spoke into the lense.

"So, I bought this so we could capture everything, I wanna be able to one day show our little boy what it was like before he arrived, how beautiful his mummy looked even when she was getting big and fat..."

Taylor let out a chuckle. How she missed Harry's jokes.

"And so he can see how devilishly handsome I am"

He flashed a sexy smile at the camera jokily.

"But son, I really hope you have your mums eyes, those big beautiful blue eyes..."

Taylor felt herself welling up, the voices  in her head telling her to keep it together. She'd never seen this tape before, and no matter how much she told herself it was a bad idea to watch it, she couldn't stop.

Harry took the camera and walked through the apartment till he found Taylor in the nursery they'd starting setting up. She was folding up tiny little vests and baby grows. He zoomed in on her growing belly.

"And there you are...the star of the show"

Taylor's hands caressed her bump.

"You're going to be so annoying with that thing I can tell"

He then zoomed in on Taylor's face.

"I know sorry babe"

It then jumped to a time that took Taylor a few seconds to notice. The camera was not in focus as Harry was obviously trying to set it up. When it finally did focus, she noticed the Christmas tree that was set up in the corner of Harry's mothers living room. It was Christmas Day, 2 days before she lost the baby. Harry was panning in on all the individuals that were in the house.

"Merry Christmas mum"

"Merry Christmas nan"

"Merry Christmas Gem"

"And finally, merry Christmas to my beautiful Taylor, and of course, our son, Trevor, or Teddie, we're not sure yet"

He zoomed in on Taylor who was unaware of Harry filming her. She was sat talking to Harry's sister Gemma, her hand placed neatly on top of her petite bump.

Taylor continued to watch, a tear managed to escape and rolled down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away with the back of her hand and turned off the TV with the remote that was next to her.

"Okaaaay that's enough of that" she said to herself with a nervous laugh. She got up and made her way to the kitchen to get another glass of wine. As she held the glass leaning up against the counter she thought of what Harry said on the tape. Trevor, that was the name she loved, but Harry loved Teddie. She smiled at the memory of them giggling about what name would be best for their son.

She drank the last bit of her wine whilst noticing the time that was stated on the clock on the kitchen wall. It had gone 10pm and she was exhausted. As she made her way to the stairs, that's when it clicked. She couldn't go to the wedding, she couldn't do it to herself. Seeing Harry marry someone else would destroy her, things were going fine the way they were and she was getting over him in her own way in her own time. With a heavy heart she took herself off to bed whilst thinking.

"Why do you have to get married, I still love you"