Chapter 65

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TWO DAYS LATER

My knuckles turns white as I keep gripping the steering wheel

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My knuckles turns white as I keep gripping the steering wheel. My heart is pounding as I think about what her reaction would be when she will see me again. Would she be mad? or upset?

I had stopped my car right outside our house but didn't get out, I'm just wondering about her reaction, I know I need to go inside and find out.

For two whole days I was missing, I didn't come home. I couldn't. I didn't have it in me to face her and that revelation that changed my entire viewpoint of her.

She loves me. She doesn't hate me, she doesn't loathe me like I've always believed but she secretly loved me all this time and I had no clue. How is it possible? How can she love me when all I've ever given her is hatred in return? I still can't believe it, I'm unable to wrap my head around it.

That night when I last saw her I left the house and went straight to a bar, I thought if I drink I would forget about her but I was wrong. I couldn't get her out of my mind, her face, the warmth of her body, the scent of her hair, the taste of her lips. It was all engraved in my mind like she had claimed my mind and soul entirely. I thought about going back home but I couldn't, I wanted to but I wasn't able to.

So I did what I'm best at. I ran away, I went to Italy. My peaceful place but I couldn't find an ounce of peace there. No amount of comfort from Italy can ever be compared to the comfort I felt when she held me.

She held me like I'm something so fragile and needed her touch to breathe. It was exactly how I was feeling that night, she gave me that calming solace that I've never felt. I wanted her to stay like that forever with me, her body fit right in my arms. The taste of her lips was like oxygen for me, like if I hadn't kissed her I wouldn't have been able to breathe.

I clench my jaw as I take a deep breath and look at my phone, lying on the passenger seat. My phone has been powered off since that night, I needed isolation from the whole world. I haven't opened it since then, I wasn't able to.

I pick it up and reluctantly turn it on, feeling afraid of what I might find. It lights up and I blink as the home screen opens and I look at all the missed calls.

At least 500 missed calls from Dad, mom and my friends. Nothing from her, like I deserve anything from her.

I want to see her, I need to see her, my heart is aching to feel her presence again.  I hold my phone tightly as I get out and look at the house, it seems eerily quiet. It's almost midnight, no sounds of anything except some wild birds.

I take a deep breath as anxious anticipation fills my whole body, I move forward and clutch the door handle, my heart pounding so loudly as I turn it and enter.

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