Sins of the Heart

13

The days passed, and Ayliz couldn't shake the weight of Zyran's rejection. It felt like a wound that wouldn't heal. Even though she had never been one to confide in others about her deepest feelings, the loneliness was becoming unbearable. She began speaking less at home, her once vibrant laughter replaced by a silence that worried her family. She often sat alone, her thoughts consumed by what had happened between her and Zyran. It had been over ten days since they had last spoken, and the emptiness left by his absence was palpable.

One evening, Ayliz sat at the dining table, absentmindedly picking at her food. Her face was drawn, her eyes distant. Her father noticed and approached her from behind, gently placing his hand on her head.

Baba: "Ayliz beta, tum ajkal kuch khoyi khoyi rehti ho. Hasti bolti nahi ho jaise pehle. Kya baat hai? Koi masla hai kya?"
(Ayliz dear, you seem lost these days. You don't laugh or talk like you used to. Is something wrong?)

Ayliz forced a small smile, shaking her head slightly.

Before she could respond, Ahmed, her brother, seized the opportunity to tease her, as he always did.

Ahmed: "Lagta hai Ayliz ko boyfriend ka chakkar hai, baba."
(Looks like Ayliz is in a boyfriend situation, dad.)

Ayliz shot him a glare, her fists tightening. Normally, she would shrug off Ahmed's jokes, but today, it felt like a dagger to her chest. Before she could lash out, her father scolded him.

Baba: "Ahmed! Yeh kya bakwaas hai? Humare ghar ka yeh mahol nahi hai. Aise baatein aj ke baad sunayi nahi deni chahiye."
(Ahmed! What nonsense is this? This isn't the atmosphere of our home. I don't want to hear this kind of talk again.)

Ahmed grinned sheepishly, but Ayliz remained silent, her anger boiling beneath the surface. She stared at her plate, unable to eat, her mind still fixated on Zyran.

Later that evening, Ayliz retreated to her room, barely able to hold back her tears. She pulled out her prayer mat and offered her Isha prayer, hoping for some relief. After she finished her salah, she raised her hands in dua, her heart heavy with emotion.

Ya Allah, agar Zyran mere naseeb mein nahi hai, toh is jazbe ko mere dil se nikal de. Mujhe is fitne se bacha le, aur mere dil ko sukoon de. Jo mere liye behtareen hai, uss raste par chalne ki taufeeq de, ya Rabb.
(Oh Allah, if Zyran is not meant for me, then remove these feelings from my heart. Save me from this test and grant my heart peace. Guide me to what is best for me, oh Lord.)

She wiped away her tears, feeling a sense of calm wash over her after her heartfelt plea to Allah. Just as she was about to get into bed, her phone lit up with an incoming call. It was Zyran.

Her heart raced. After ten days of silence, why was he calling her now? She hesitated, but eventually, she picked up the phone, her voice steady but unsure.

Ayliz: "Assalamualaikum."
(Peace be upon you.)

Zyran: "Walekum assalam." (And peace be upon you too.) "Ayliz, tum mujhse naraz ho kya? Tum baat nahi karti ab?"
(Ayliz, are you mad at me? You don't talk to me anymore?)

Ayliz took a deep breath, her emotions swirling.

Ayliz: "Nahi, naraz nahi hoon."
(No, I'm not mad.)

Zyran: "Toh phir baat kyun nahi karti?"
(Then why don't you talk to me?)

Ayliz: "Kyuki hamara baat karna ab theek nahi hai. Ye galat hai, Zyran."
(Because talking like this is not right anymore. It's wrong, Zyran.)

Zyran was quiet for a moment. He sighed, knowing this would come up but still unprepared for how much it stung.

Zyran: "Tum meri dost ho, Ayliz. Aur main tumhare bina ajeeb mehsoos karta hoon. Tumhe samajhna padega, mujhe pyaar mein koi interest nahi hai."
(You're my friend, Ayliz. And I feel strange without you. You have to understand, I'm not interested in love.)