Dark Night Race | Lestappen

9 | lost hope

"Please don't do this." I cried, holding him strongly against the railing that was between us.

Me standing on the safe side of the bride while he was on the other one, ready to jump, ready to end his life.

"But it's hopeless, I'll die anyway, the pain is too strong." Max returned, wriggling in my arms in order to free himself before he stopped and added more quietly, "Or I will kill you."

"You would never do that." I interrupted him instantly.

He moved again, but this time turning in my arms so that he was now facing me. I immediately saw his red eyes, his wet cheeks a hurt expression on his face. I couldn't even imagine in what pain he was but it must be a lot.

"Look what I did already." the Dutchman whispered, tracing his fingers over the marks on my neck, which luckily were nearly all gone by now, "I almost killed you."

"But you didn't." I returned desperately, hoping that he would finally come on the safe side of the bridge again.

But Max kept his position and I tightened my grip as I was scared he might fall back and with that off the bridge.

"I did, and today you risked your life again. He was ready to kill you for a win and you decided to race him anyways." Max said, his voice slowly getting more quiet before he nearly whispered, "Why?"

Our eyes met as he looked up and I instantly sank into the blue, the blue that had pulled me in from the first moment that I had seen him.

"Because I lo... I like you, I really do." I blurred out, luckily rescuing myself before something was said that wasn't quite fitting, "And I don't wanna see you in pain, I don't wanna see you die."

"But I will anyway, sooner or later. You have to end your mission and this whole shit show will be over, then I won't have my drugs, be probably in jail and die there from all that pain if the splinter won't cut me from the inside."

Max sounded so angry and without another word he turned in my arms again. Too shocked by his words I hadn't held my arms very strongly, but as soon as I felt him moving I pulled him back against the railing again.

"Just let me!" he shouted, not even looking at me, "It's better like that, I don't wanna cause you any more pain, I don't want you to risk your life for me, to become a criminal for me, you can do better. And who knows, maybe next time Brad would not only take the win and drugs but also your life!"

He cried by now, breaking down in my arms, but not really leaning into them as he still wanted to jump. But I held him and quickly stood on the little space at the bottom of the railing so that I was on his height.

"He didn't win, I have beaten him." I blurred out, breathing right into his ear.

Immediately Max's body stop pressing against my arms. Slowly he turned his head, his eyes wide.

"You won?"

"Of course mon amour, do you really have that little faith in me and my driving skills?" I returned, smiling at the end.

"You won?!" Max repeated himself, tears streaming down his face by now.

"I did." I said, also crying by now, "He was hugely pissed afterwards, but I was the first crossing the finish line even though I have to say it was a dangerous race."

"You did it babe, you did it." the Dutchman cried.

Then he turned and cupped my face, pulling me as close as the railing between let us, and kissed me. It was a messy kiss, mixed with so many tears between our lips but it was everything we needed in that moment, almost.