HEAT |OMEGAVERSE| ⚣ ✔️

Forgiveness 🔞

"But I do need to say something—so many things, you just unloaded like five years worth of trauma."  I say to Alex, my mouth slightly hanging open. How could he expect me to say nothing after that?

"The point of that Jasper—it wasn't for you to feel bad for me...it was so you'd understand that I'm fucked up—and that I...make bad decisions." He pauses, tugging on the inside of his cheek with teeth, "also so you'd know that from this point on I won't lie to you—and that you'd know the whole truth if you decide believe me." I study Alex's expression, and within all his seriousness—sparkles a hopeful shimmer in his soft eyes.

I want to forgive him...truly, I do. I don't even think the part of me that's skeptical of Alex is bigger than the part that understands his pain. To have suffered so long with so much mental abuse is hard, I've been through that. I've found myself at points where I thought living was useless, that nothing good would come out of my existence. Thinking back to my childhood always brings me back to a dark place. I hate remembering my inhumane father being savage—and the...things that he'd do to both my mother and I.

Without realizing it, tears start to form at the corners of my eyes and flow freely down my cheeks, pooling at my jawbone and dripping down onto my shirt. I look up to Alex who scoots closer to me, placing a cupped hand on my face, gently brushing a thumb across my cheek.

"Why are you crying?" He asks quietly, his face stricken with both concern and confusion.

I decide to tell him half the truth, unable to bring myself to speak about the other, "because—I-I forgive you Alex, but—I'm scared. I've had such a shitty life—I don't want this to be another chapter in that book," I cry and sniffle, wiping at my nose with my shirt, "don't—don't let this just be a sweet dream that I have to wake up from please." I can't tell if it's because of my hormones, being overtired, or just so mentally drained...but I continue to sob for a moment or two.

Alex pulls me into his arms in a tight embrace, and I settle my head on his shoulder, relaxing into his touch. "I swear, no more secrets, no more lying." He whispers into my ear and a small smile tugs at my lips. I pull away from Alex, my gaze lifting to meet his, my eyes still brimming with tears. His dark brown ones look back at me, filled with such warmth, seeming to reach inside me, and wrap around my heart until it skips a beat in my chest.

He places his hand back on the side of my face to draw me closer, and I offer no resistance as our lips meet for a tender kiss. There's something different in the way he kisses me now—his touch achingly soft, his lips moving with a delicate caution, as if he's afraid to shatter the moment. And that only makes my heart beat a little bit faster, a warm flutter stirring in my stomach.

I turn the rest of my body toward him, raising both hands to each side of his neck, my fingers gently curling around it. Alex's muscular arm snakes around my waist, pulling me closer, and I follow his lead—crawling onto his lap.

My body melts into his as those soft lips move against mine, his tongue softly brushing against my bottom one. Alex's palm moves from the side of my face, slipping around to the backside of my neck, lightly clasping it. His other hand moves slowly down to the small of my back, and warmth surges through my body as his fingers find their way beneath my shirt.

I've missed the feeling of Alex against me—his warmth and the way his careful touches ignite something deep within me.

I moan softly into our kiss, feeling the pressure of my growing erection press against the fabric of my jeans. I run my fingers through his styled, slicked back hair, disrupting its hold as I grip at the roots of his locks.

Alex's cock grows hard below the pressure my own as I sit, and I can't help myself as I start grinding gently on his lap, rubbing against him. His fingers grip tighter on me, holding me as close against him as our bodies will allow. I continue rocking my hips on him, and he groans softly into my mouth, sending a wave of desire through me.