ALEX'S POV
My dad's words seem unreal, as does this whole situation I've found myself in. The father that I've always known seems to have morphed into an entirely different person overnight.
Don't get me wrong, I love my dad...and I'll always love him. We have just never had that fatherly-son bond. There was never any seeing me off at school, making me breakfast in the morning, no birds and bees, never an open or emotional conversation had. I don't recall a bond being made between us that was t strictly business.
The most "fatherly" thing I ever remember my dad doing with me, was taking me to a ball game when I was thirteen. I hate baseball. It's not like he would know that though, he doesn't really know anything about me.
"Let me start with I'm sorry." He says quietly, and Diva sneaks in quietly, placing two cups of coffee between us, then backs away.
"Sorry for what dad?"
"Not being the father I should have been, honestly a lot of things, son." He takes his coffee carefully, pouring two creams and a sugar into it—just like mom used to.
"I'm not sure I understand?" I ask, puzzled...the confusion I'm feeling is almost overwhelming at this point. It feels like I'm waiting for some camera man to pop out from behind the scenes. To let me know it's all fake and I can go home now.
"I know I've never been the most kind-hearted man...and to be honest I wish I was better. When your mother passed on, she took a piece of me with her—a part I'm not sure I'll ever recover. I should have never left you so alone as a kid, or a teen. I should have been there to help you become a man...so you weren't left to figure it out on your own."
"Dad it's alright—"
"You don't need to justify my lack of being there Alex, and I don't want you to." He cuts in.
"Okay...well is that it?" I shift in my seat, and take a drink of my black coffee, the bitterness in my mouth grounding me.
"No—there's more."
I'm not sure what could be said now that would surprise me anymore than what's already left his mouth.
"Well—shoot then." I reply, sipping my drink once more.
"I've got cancer Alex."
I spit my coffee out and back into my cup, some burning at the back of my nose.
"Wh—what?" I stutter in disbelief.
"It's the kind you can't come back from son, the doctors say I've got only a couple months left, maybe a year at best."
He's got to be kidding? Cancer? It almost sounds like a cruel joke to have both your parents die, and for the same reason.
"I'm sure there's something they can—"
"There's nothing they can do Alex, I've got tumors all throughout my brain...I'm lucky I'm still able to talk with you now."
For a moment I just stare into my dad's light grey eyes, my mouth slightly ajar as I try to respond. His features remains flat and unmoved, just as it does when we discuss business.
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Romance"I want you, all of you. I want you to beg for me, to need me. I want every ounce of you to belong to me and only me," Alex whispers into my ear as his muscular arms wrap tightly around me. His breath is hot against my skin, and a shiver runs down m...
