Irreplaceable {1}

Chapter 1

I rolled around in my bed, unable to sleep. I can normally sleep just fine. Nothing unusual happened today. It's weird because it's summer and everything's going great. There was nothing at all to worry about, yet my mind refused to shut down. It was stuck replaying the day. As if something bad was supposed to happen and it didn't.

At one point, I even tried counting sheep. Not sure why people do that, it did not help me in the slightest. I ended up just going down a rabbit hole and thinking about how weird sheep are and then how weird numbers are. After I realized how weird numbers are, I started to think about math and who even thought that was a good idea.

My brain was not going to turn off.

I guess I might as well do something. It's better than just laying here. So I sat up from my nice comfortable bed, letting the sheets fall off and started searching on my bedside table for my phone. I turn it on, wincing at the sudden brightness, and loosing my footing as I tried to slowly slide off the bed. I ended up on my butt and wincing, I hope no one heard that.

Slowly I got up and took a step forward, trying to avoid creaky floorboards but I ended up stepping on something else. Slowly I used the light from my phone to look at whatever I'd stood on. It was just a bobby pin. Thank goodness, it wasn't a spider or a scorpion of some weird buggy thing. I should really start picking these pins up to save me from having a panic attack.

I slowly hobbled out of my room then through the hallway till I found myself in the living room. I don't know exactly what I was going to do but anything was more exciting than laying in bed and doing nothing all night long.

Sitting onto the couch, I pulled a blanket around my bare legs. It wasn't chilly, but I knew if I sat here long enough I would get cold. I spotted my laptop next to the vase on the coffee table and placed it onto my lap. The Internet seems like a good place to be right now. Maybe it can help me put my mind at ease. I waited patiently as it turned on with an eerie silence surrounding my parents house. It scared me actually.

Yes, I have my own place. I just am staying here for two weeks. I have three days left of my trip then I'll be heading back to my apartment. Then two weeks later, my classes start again at Uni. I just have one semester left then I can graduate. I know, it sounds weird for someone to be graduating in the wintertime but that's because I started in January instead of September like everyone else.

Long story, I'll save it for another day.

Once my laptop was on and my eyes had adjusted to the brightness of it, I typed in my password. The screen changed to a very familiar picture of my brothers and I. It was a happy picture from two summers ago when we went to visit LA as a family trip. It started off quite happy but my family just had to start arguing and fighting like always. I never liked family trips because we always seemed to find a way to ruin it no matter where we were or what we were doing.

I clicked on my little chrome icon then typed in the site address I wanted to go to. It quickly loaded and I started to scroll. There wasn't much of anything new, mostly because it was 1:30 in the morning and everyone should be sleeping.

So I opened a new tab and went to Twitter. My least favourite site, but I still check it regularly. I just see all of the hateful things that my old friends say to me and all of the hate I get from the people who don't like my writing. I don't care about the people who don't like my writing, but the x-best friends hate always hurts.

However much it may hurt, I always read it anyways. I know I put the pain on myself. I should just read their username and skip over it, but I don't. I should probably even block them so it doesn't get to that point, but I can never bring myself to do that either. My new friends always hack my Twitter and try to delete all the hate from them, but they always just resend it so there really is no point.

I'll always eventually see it.

I sighed as I read through a few of them. They accuse me of ruining their relationships with their boyfriends that they 'loved' in senior year. Whatever that means. I don't even know what I did. Was it that I lost weight that year? Was that their problem? I never stole anyone's boyfriend, I've only had one relationship and none of them ever dated him.

You see, I was fat... well not completely fat, just a little...rounded. And I really didn't mind, but other people did mind. Other people being Jasmine and Dena, my x-best friends. Their exact words were "Maire, you are fat and need to lose weight if you want to keep us as friends." I am so positive they practiced that for weeks because neither of them are too bright and they said it at the exact same time. It was god awful the stares I got that day. By far, the worst day of my life, and I thought that the last day of school before summer was supposed to be a great day. Not for me.

So I spent the summer exercising and only eating strictly healthy foods, then BAM! First day back to school for senior year and they started to bully me. I don't get why, all I did was what they had asked of me. Some people are just so confusing. I was just happy the day that I was let out of that horrid place and was able to move away for University. That was probably the best day of my life.

I'll never really know if that's the real reason because I never want to talk to them ever again. Even if they figure out they're in the wrong and apologize, its been too much bullying the last four years. Bullying when I really could have used some friends.

No matter how long I stay away from them, it still doesn't get better for me.

I left Twitter after reading some tweets from people who actually like me, and went to the site that I post my stories on. There was a few new comments and votes, but nothing too major. I sat there staring at my profile and all of my different works, most of them complete and the others close to being finished.

I think it was time I started another one. Maybe it will put my mind at ease.

I opened a new Word document in a new tab and started to jot down ideas as they came to me. After about half an hour I had a plot that was worthy enough to be built upon. I opened another new document and wrote character names at the top then added little blurbs about their personalities and appearances. Under that I titled it as 'Summary', and though of a way to sum up my story.

Once that was done, I opened one more document and started 'Chapter 1'. I liked writing. It really did help ease my mind. It made me forget about my messed up life and go into a world in which I created and where everything I write becomes a reality for me and the reader. It helps me escape whenever I need to.

After a while of almost constant typing, I looked at the clock and sighed. It's now 3:00 am. If I want to get any sleep, I should go to bed soon. Maybe now I can sleep knowing that I made an amazing character named Ronnie who can stick up for herself and doesn't let people get to her emotions. She kind of reminds me of my friend Roxy, but less violent.

I turned off my computer and placed it back onto the coffee table. I instantly missed letting my imagination run wild, but restrained myself because my eyes were about to close. I can run through cotton candy fields in my dreams. I slowly walked back to my room, regretting leaving the warm blanket on the couch, then silently slipped back into bed.

Once my head hit the pillow, I was asleep and dreaming of a better place. One with a perfect family, no hate and no crazy ex boyfriend. Oh, did I forget to tell you about him? Well that's a story for another day. Right now I'm too tired to tell you about him.