Does Voldemort Even Lift, Bro?

Chapter 2: Year 1-- Teeth Are a Privilege

Disclaimer: Please enjoy this story that Warner Brothers only wishes JK had written.

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Harry looked over the people gathered around the bright red train, searching for a honey or two so he could start this whole magical world thing off the right way.

He was wearing jeans, a brand new set of cross trainers, and a muscle tee to show off the guns. According to Thanos, it was important to make a strong first impression. Honeys would be drawn to him, naturally, and the weak ass wizards would instinctively know to stay away from the biggest dog in the yard.

Sometimes, Harry didn't understand all the metaphors, but he tried to remember them anyway. And from what he had seen so far, he doubted that there were even any other medium sized dogs in the yard. The wizards he saw tended to be either slim or chubby, and there was very little definition anywhere in sight.

On the other hand, there were some very nice-looking girls, so Harry watched the crowd with a grin. He had a lot of choices for honeys. His eyes eventually caught sight of an Indian family saying their goodbyes to their identical twin daughters.

One of the many things he had learned from the Thicc Daddy was that there was nothing better than twins. Harry wasn't going to question his mentor, especially not with such pretty evidence standing right in front of him.

The girls had a trolley with two large trunks and their father was just wondering if he should assist his daughters to get them onto the train when Harry decided to introduce himself.

"I can help if you'd like."

There was a wide variety in expressions on the faces of the people who turned to look at him. The father was both surprised and wary of the young man; the mother obviously disapproved of his outfit but smiled anyway at his face for some reason. He was so used to people looking at the lightning bolt on his forehead that it barely registered to him.

The girls though definitely liked getting to see the gun show. They were pretty too, so Harry was checking them out at the same time. Both were slender with very long black hair and he thought they looked like perfect honey material. He had learned that it was pretty awesome to walk around with a pretty girl under each arm, so he figured that it would be even better if they were a matching set.

"I'm Harry," he said, extending a hand towards them. The girl on his left reacted first.

"I'm Parvati," she replied.

He took her hand and kissed the back of it. "It's my great pleasure to meet such a lovely young woman."

That was one of the last lessons Thanos had taught him before the end of summer- it was time to start calling them young women or young ladies instead of girls. He had been told that his hormones would thank him in the long run.

She giggled and nudged her sister in the side.

"I'm Padma."

He kissed her hand as well. "It's definitely my lucky day, Padma.

"Now, allow me."

The trunks did have lightening charms on them and almost always came with space expansion charms as well, but they were still pretty damn big. Yet Harry hefted one onto each shoulder like it was no big deal.