Disclaimer: I may or may not be JK Rowling and/or Jim Starlin.
That's right- I bet you didn't know that Stan Lee didn't actually create every single MARVEL character.
;)
Author's Note: It looks like year 4 will probably be at least 4 or so parts long, just because of how much stuff there is in Goblet of Fire for Beefcake Harry to screw up in his usual goofy way.
Hope you all enjoy!
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"It was a pretty mellow year, for the most part," Harry shrugged. "After I killed that skeletal dude on the train anyway."
"No great adventures?" Thanos asked.
"Not really. I guess maybe the thing with the hippogriff could sort of count, but it was really easy. Hermione had this time turner thing, so we just sneaked out, set him loose, then went back and had perfect alibis in case anyone tried to accuse us of stuff. We won at quidditch too, so that was cool."
"A time turner, you say?"
"Yeah, it was like a weird little clock that she wore like a necklace. Hermione's too much of a nerd though," Harry snorted. "She just used it to go to more classes. That's so fucking lame. Man, if I had one of those, I could train more and spend more time with my honeys."
"It is wise to remember to balance work and play," Thanos nodded. "How are your girls doing?"
"Pretty good. We're going on vacation next week. Sirius decided I needed a really great birthday for once, so he's taking us all to this private tropical island his family owns. I'm just glad his tour is done and he didn't end up in prison again. As for Padma and Parvati, well..." Harry blushed and started to grin. "I hope we can get some privacy from her parents, you know? I mean... this spring..." Harry smiled with a vacant look in his eyes. "Boobies."
Thanos chuckled. "Indeed, breasts are marvelous."
"Yeah," Harry said, still staring off into the distance.
"Well, I do have some news of my own," Thanos said, getting up and walking over to the safe where he kept the Infinity Gauntlet while he was busy running the gym. He carried it back over to his protege, who was finally brought out of his hormone induced delirium. "Behold, my newest acquisition- the Time Gem."
"Time... so it can do stuff like that time turner?"
"That and more."
"Is there any chance you could hook me up with one of those?" Harry asked. "More time would be frickin' sweet, you know?"
Thanos boomed out a deep, rumbling laugh. "I'll tell you what, young Harry. The next time you have a properly exciting adventure, I'll consider it. But, what of your new classes?"
"Eh, Care of Magical Creatures was pretty cool," he shrugged. "Hagrid's the teacher, and he's a cool dude. I also took Divination, which was kinda lame. Parvati likes it a lot, so that makes it more fun at least. But the teacher's this nutty old hippy looking chick and she seems like she's drunk or something half of the time."
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