Does Voldemort Even Lift, Bro?

Chapter 12: Year 5-- You and Whose Army

Minerva sat down in the dusty old kitchen of Grimmauld Place and sighed to herself as the rest of the Order of the Phoenix slowly trickled in, more than half of them already late for the meeting. She just knew that Albus would be the last to arrive- his needed flair for being fashionably late, as if anything he did was fashionable to people with decency or taste.

Sirius Black took the seat across the table from her and she raised an eyebrow at him. "How is Harry doing, Sirius?"

"He's off to France tomorrow, so I imagine he's packing," the old mutt answered. "I'm thinking of swinging by to visit around the time they hit the French Riviera. You know what they say about Veela and topless beaches."

"You're such a filthy reprobate that I'm surprised you haven't been a worse influence over your godson," she snorted.

"Thanks, Minnie," he grinned. "That's one of the nicest things you've ever said to me. As for Harry, he's sadly far too committed to those twins of his. On the one hand, I can understand because it is identical twins, but on the other hand I wish he hadn't followed James' lead in getting hooked from first year on."

Dumbledore appeared in a burst of fire as Fawkes dropped him onto the floor at the far end of the table. He groaned as he climbed to his feet. "I was not going to be too late, you silly bird!"

An angry squawk was the response before the phoenix disappeared.

As the headmaster got to his seat, the door slammed open when Snape stormed in, cape billowing behind him and sneering as always.

Dumbledore clapped his hands. "Wonderful Severus! Stand back up please."

"What?" Snape raised his eyebrows in disbelief but did as he was asked.

"Yes, now do a little turn."

"A turn?"

"Yes, do a little turn and stride out of the room."

"But-"

"Severus!" Dumbledore's voice became deep and angry and the put upon man finally did so. "Yes, now you can come back in."

Sirius and Lupin were chuckling as Snape returned, robes still billowing but his usual sneer replaced by an unamused grimace.

"Isn't that remarkable?" Dumbledore said to his old friend Dedalus Diggle with a smile. "I never have been able to get my robes to twirl and billow like that."

Minerva exhaled and let a few snickers pass before she stood up to take control of the room. "Alright, everyone, it's time for a status report. Nymphadora?"

"Yes, Professor McGonagall!" The young auror leapt out of her seat, banging her knee against the table. "Um, we've been trying to talk to people at work, trying to get them to listen about you-know-who, but-"

"But they're all a bunch of cowards and idiots!" Mad-Eye cut in.

"Business as usual then?" Sirius snorted.

"Quite," Minerva frowned. "Sni- Severus, any news from the other camp?"

If he noticed her slip at almost calling him his least favorite nickname, he hid it well as he stood and swooped around the room. "The Dark Lord is plotting. Always plotting. He seems to be trying to come up with a way to kill Harry Potter."