Does Voldemort Even Lift, Bro?

Chapter 15: Year 5-- You and Whose Army IV

Author's Note: All behold the LA! Harry's gonna accidentally turn into the best Prefect ever. Assuming you don't care that much about rules or order or silly things like that. Hope you enjoy!

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Harry was happy when his owl Sammie came swooping in with a package tied to her leg a few days later.

"Hey, whatcha got for me, girl?"

She gave him a loud squawk as she stuck out her leg and he started untying the shrunken box.

"Is this from the Thicc Daddy?" he asked.

Sammie bobbed up and down, telling him he was right before he looked inside. The cargo showed that Thanos had come through, and there was even a piece of paper printed off with various instructions for beginners, which Harry was very grateful for. It had been several years since he'd started out and he found it hard to remember being so unripped as his little dudes.

"What is that?" Parvati asked.

"Do we really want to know?" Padma rolled her eyes.

"It's a surprise for later."

Across the table, Hermione Granger groaned. "Whatever it is, please leave me out of it."

"Okay dude," Harry shrugged. "It's for the little dudes anyway."

"Are you going to corrupt the first years?" she glared at him.

"Nah, I've got instructions and everything. It'll be great," he grinned and turned back to Padma. "Hey, could you check with your little dudes and see if any of them want in?"

"I suppose you'll keep on bothering me if I don't," she sighed. "But I will also have to properly warn them about you crazy Gryffindors first."

"Don't be jealous because we're the fun house," Parvati giggled. "You know you love joining our parties, sis."

"That's true."

"Yeah, no one shushes you in Gryffindor," Harry added.

"Except for Hermione," Parvati said as she glanced across at her dorm mate.

"I don't think she shushes me," he frowned and scratched his head. "At least, I don't remember that. Hey, Hermione dude- do you shush me when you're reading and stuff?"

"Why bother?" Granger replied with a scowl. "Nothing ever gets through that thick head of yours anyway. I've learned my lesson by now. If I don't want a migraine, I try to stay out of your way."

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After dinner that night, Harry led his minions to the first empty classroom they could find. Padma had come through too as three of her little dudes had decided to come along.

The honeys stood beside him as Harry enlarged the package while the boys waited hopefully. "Alright now, we're going to work on a few starter exercises tonight. But first, I've got a present for each of you." Harry looked down and counted.

Oops. More minions tonight meant he didn't have enough.

"Hey, babe," he turned to Padma. "Can you do me a solid with that duplication charm thingy?"