just pretend.

13.

Seeing Changbin walk up the stairs with someone else, holding hands, kissing, and giggling, made Jisung realize how stupid and naive he had been. The sight of them together, clearly happy and in their own world, hit him harder than he expected. He slumped into his seat, his mood visibly darkening. “What’s up with you?”, Jeongin asked, his eyes following Jisung’s dejected movements as he picked at his food. He hadn’t really eaten much, just moving his fork around the plate. “Changbin is seeing other people”, Jisung said sulkily, resting his chin on his hand and pouting. His face reflected his frustration and sadness. “It’s like I was fooling myself thinking there was something more”, he mumbled, slowly pushing the plate away from him. “Then do the same”, Jeongin suggested casually, trying to lighten the mood. Jisung tilted his head, confused. “Seeing someone else?”, he asked, hoping for some clarity. Jeongin nodded, finishing his last bite of curry with a satisfied grin. “Like who?” Jeongin’s grin widened mischievously, his eyes sparkling with playful intent. “Like Minho, for example”, he dared to say, even as he raised his hands in a defensive gesture when Jisung pointed his spoon at him. “I swear to god, Yang Jeongin”, Jisung hissed, a mix of irritation and disbelief in his voice. Curry dripped from his spoon, making him even more frustrated. “Look at this mess, it’s your fault”, he whined, feeling a surge of irritation and a deep-seated need to vent. Jeongin chuckled softly, a slight smirk on his lips as he grabbed a towel and started wiping the table. “You really like Changbin that much?”, he asked, raising an eyebrow at Jisung’s conflicted expression. Jisung shrugged his shoulders, unsure of how to articulate his feelings. “I just wanna forget Minho”, he mumbled, trying to force himself to eat a few more bites of his food. Jeongin nodded thoughtfully, his bruises slowly turning yellow and green, with the small wounds on his lip beginning to heal. “Go to Hyunjin’s party and find someone”, he suggested, a bit more earnestly now. Jisung let out a bitter laugh. “And what am I going to do until then?”, he asked, feeling the weight of his emotions. Jeongin shrugged slightly, his cocky smile still in place. “If Changbin is just fucking around, then I don’t see the problem”, he said, his tone confident. Jisung sighed and finished his meal in silence. After a long, hot shower, he crawled into bed, feeling the weight of the day’s emotions. He sent a quick message to Changbin, asking, “Is he your boyfriend?” and put his phone aside after. He closed his eyes, not expecting sleep to come easily, but exhaustion soon overcame him, and he drifted off.

Jeongin had already left for work when Jisung walked out of his room the next morning, his eyes landing on a note taped to the kitchen table. “I’m at work, I made you breakfast”, it read. He opened the fridge to find a plate of neatly arranged sandwiches. A small smile crept across his face; maybe having a roommate wasn’t so bad after all. He grabbed the plate and devoured the sandwiches quickly, his stomach rumbling in appreciation. Feeling somewhat better, he got ready for another long shift at work. His additional hours were taking a toll on his studies, and he worried he wouldn’t pass his upcoming exams if he didn’t start focusing more. With his parents no longer breathing down his neck about their business, he contemplated abandoning his studies altogether. His head throbbed as he slipped into his blue jeans and pulled on a comfortable dark green hoodie. After brushing his teeth, he checked his phone and saw a new message from Changbin. Bracing himself for the worst, he unlocked the screen and read Changbin’s response. “He’s not my boyfriend and there’s no need to be jealous, baby. You can join us anytime.” Jisung’s eyes widened in surprise. An invitation for a threesome was not what he had expected. He had braced himself for being a rebound or a second choice, or maybe even a temporary distraction. But a threesome? That was something he hadn't considered. He let out a bemused chuckle, shaking his head as he processed the message. He decided to respond later, already seeing Jeongin’s mischievous smile in front of his eyes.

His four-hour shift flew by quicker than he’d expected, and by mid-morning, Jisung found himself standing at Changbin’s door, a little after ten. A blonde, freckle-faced guy answered the door, his deep voice somewhat startling. “Are you looking for Changbin?”, he asked. Jisung nodded in response. The guy peered down the hallway before stepping aside to let Jisung in. As Jisung entered, he saw Changbin emerging from the bathroom, wrapped only in a towel around his lower body. Water droplets trickled down his chiseled chest, and Changbin flashed an amused smirk. “You already wanna join us?”, he asked, his tone teasing. Distracted by Changbin’s defined physique, Jisung mumbled, “Yeah”, before quickly correcting himself, “I mean, no”, as he tried to focus, heat creeping up his neck. Changbin closed the distance between them, and before Jisung could fully gather his thoughts, Changbin’s lips were on his. From the background, Jisung heard the other guy giggle, and then he disappeared into the living room as Changbin pulled away. Jisung, caught off guard by his own sudden lack of inhibition, managed a whisper, “Is he alright with it?” He didn’t know what his brain acrobatics were doing but he had no shame left. The other one’s voice came from around the corner, “He is”, and appeared, extending a hand to Changbin. “I’m Felix, by the way.” Jisung blinked and choked out a pathetic sounding, “Jisung”, unsure if Felix caught the faint reply. Felix’s warm smile did little to ease his nerves as Changbin intertwined their fingers and led Jisung down the hallway into the living room. His heart raced, and he felt a tight knot of anxiety in his chest. Felix sat next to him on the couch, his hand sliding onto Jisung’s thigh and gradually making its way to his growing bulge. “Nervous?”, Felix asked, his voice low and reassuring. Jisung nodded slightly, overwhelmed by the escalating tension. “No need to be nervous”, Felix continued, his hand now pressing firmly against Jisung’s rapidly growing bulge. “We’re going to make you feel good, hm?” Jisung’s heartbeat rushed in his ears as he took a sharp breath, his mind overwhelmed by the situation. With a deep exhale, he resolved to turn off his thoughts and surrender to the moment, ready to experience whatever was about to unfold.