just pretend.

47.

“Hannie, are you alright?”, his brother’s voice broke through the storm of thoughts raging in Jisung’s mind. Minju’s arm wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him closer, offering comfort Jisung wasn’t sure he could accept right now. He was far from alright. After staging the photos in the van, covered in fake blood and pretending to be lifeless, sending them to their father to sell the illusion, Jisung felt hollow, his body trembling with the weight of it all. The sickening feeling in his gut wouldn’t go away, not even after he scrubbed his trembling hands raw trying to wash away the fake blood, the images replaying in his mind like a scene from a nightmare he couldn’t wake up from. “I know it’s hard”, Minju’s voice was soft, almost a whisper, trying to soothe. “I felt the same.” Jisung managed a nod, his gaze distant, focused on the window in Hyunjin’s living room. The new phones and numbers they had gotten were supposed to give them some sense of security, but it didn’t. The unease clung to him like a shadow, lurking in the corners of his mind, a constant reminder that something terrible was waiting to happen. It felt like a bad omen hanging in the air, tightening its grip with every passing second. He drew in a shaky breath, trying to push the darkness away, but it stayed with him. “Why didn’t you tell me about your girlfriend?”, he asked suddenly, the question breaking the silence. It had been nagging at him ever since Chan revealed the truth, playing over and over in his mind, each replay sharper than the last. Minju’s body went rigid beside him, and Jisung immediately regretted asking. He had just pulled a painful memory back to the surface, a wound that hadn’t healed. His brother’s silence was suffocating, and the weight of it pressed down on Jisung, making his chest tighten. When Minju finally spoke, his voice was laced with regret. “Because I knew that if I told you, you would have ended things with Minho to protect him”, Minju admitted, his tone calm but filled with sadness. “And I knew that would have broken you completely. I did it to put their focus on me, not on you and Minho. I’m sorry I couldn’t stop Wooyoung from beating him up, Hannie.” The words hit Jisung like a tidal wave, his world suddenly spinning out of control. He took a step back, his breath caught in his throat, shock and disbelief spreading through his entire body. His legs wobbled beneath him as if the ground had vanished. “What?”, he choked out, his voice barely a whisper, the dryness in his throat making it hard to speak. His heart pounded in his chest, too fast, too loud, almost deafening. Minju’s expression changed, his brows drawing together in guilt as he realized something. “He didn’t tell you”, Minju said quietly, his quiet realization hitting like a punch to Jisung’s gut. His brother’s eyes met his, filled with a sorrow so deep, it was like looking into a mirror of his own emotions. Jisung shook his head, unable to comprehend what he was hearing, his mind refusing to connect the pieces. “What.. what do you mean?” His voice trembled, panic creeping up his spine, making his hands shake. His heart felt like it was about to burst, beating erratically in his chest, the fear too much to bear. Minju exhaled shakily, his eyes drifting to the window as if searching for an escape from the confession he was about to make. “The night Minho broke up with you”, he began slowly, his voice heavy with the weight of what he was about to reveal, “Wooyoung waited for him to climb out of your window like he always did.” Jisung’s breath froze in his throat, his world collapsing in on itself. Every muscle in his body went rigid as he stared at his brother in horror, the realization sinking in like ice water. Minho hadn’t just left him that night, he had left him out of fear — he had been attacked, assaulted by Wooyoung, and Jisung had no idea. His stomach churned violently, and he felt like he might be sick. Minju glanced at him again, his expression pained, a mix of guilt, apology, and frustration. He stepped closer, placing a hand on Jisung’s neck to steady him, sensing that he was on the verge of breaking down. “Hannie”, Minju’s voice softened, filled with urgency. “I never left your side. Ever since I faked my death and caused you all that pain, I’ve been watching over you, making sure you were safe.” Jisung shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes as he struggled to process the flood of emotions washing over him. “But what does that have to do with..” His voice cracked, unable to say the words out loud. The thought that Minho had been hurt, brutalized, just because he had loved him was too much to bear. “That night, I followed Wooyoung. I wanted to stop him if he tried to murder Minho just like he did with my girlfriend, I wanted to save at least one of them”, Minju admitted, his voice barely audible, his eyes full of anguish. “I watched him beat Minho. I stood there, watching, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it because if I did.. it would have meant worse things for all of us. For me, for you, and for Minho. I heard Wooyoung warn him and even though I know it broke your heart, I’m glad he stayed away from you, because that meant he would live.” The confession broke Jisung. His knees gave out, and he stumbled backward, his vision blurring with tears as the weight of everything came crashing down on him. His chest ached, constricted by grief and guilt. His brother’s hands trembled as he seemed to replay Minho’s cries and pleas in his head – sounds he had heard, sounds he had done nothing to stop. Minju’s eyes were wet, too, his face contorted with guilt. “Sometimes, I still hear him”, he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I still hear Minho’s cries in my dreams. I hear him beg for Wooyoung to stop, I hear him apologize.. and I’m so sorry, Hannie. I’m so sorry I couldn’t stop it. I’m sorry I let it happen.” Jisung’s chest heaved with sobs, his legs too weak to hold him up any longer. He slumped into Minju’s arms, shaking uncontrollably, his heart shattering into a million pieces. The weight of Minho’s pain, the suffering he had endured because of Jisung’s connection to him, was suffocating. He felt like he was drowning in guilt, unable to breathe, unable to think. The only thing that echoed in his mind was Minho’s love and the torment he had faced because of it.