just pretend.

3.

Jisung let his shoulders drop, the weight of the conversation pulling him down as he bit down hard on his lip, trying to keep his emotions in check. The frustration and hopelessness in Minho’s voice cut through the air like a knife. “Just forget about it, alright? There’s nothing we can do, Jisung. Just move away and live your life. A life without your parents and without me in it”, Minho said, his words were final.  Each word felt like a brick being stacked on his chest, making it harder to breathe. Minho opened the door and rushed back to his room without looking back, his footsteps echoing in the silent hallway. It felt like a second breakup, even more painful than the first. His chest tightened painfully at the thought of it, the walls of the small room seeming to close in on him. The memories of what he had said to Jisung when he was forced to break up with him the first time came rushing back, threatening to drown him. Each harsh word he had uttered in the past now echoed loudly in his mind, the regret nearly choking him. His heart pounded in his chest, the panic growing rapidly, squeezing his lungs, making it hard to draw in a full breath. “Min, what happened?”, Felix’s voice pierced through the fog of panic, far away yet so close, a lifeline to cling to. The younger one’s presence was suddenly at his side, helping him sit down on the edge of his bed. Felix kneeled in front of him, his expression filled with concern, his eyes searching Minho’s face for answers. “Did he hurt you?”, Felix asked softly, and Minho shook his head, a slight movement as he tried to keep his emotions in check. Not physically, at least. But emotionally? He felt like he was bleeding out inside. Felix’s hands gently gripped his thighs, grounding him. The pressure of Felix’s palms on his legs was firm, reassuring, an anchor in the storm of his emotions. “Breathe, okay? Focus on my hands on your thighs, can you feel that?”, Felix asked with a calm voice and Minho nodded slightly, trying to direct all his focus to the steady, comforting weight of Felix’s hands on his body. “Alright, now breathe in deeply”, Felix instructed and Minho obeyed, taking a shaky, deep breath, forcing the air into his lungs. The last thing he wanted was to succumb to a full-blown panic attack and be kept in this suffocating hospital even longer. He needed to get a grip, to regain control before the panic took over completely. Slowly, his breathing began to even out, the tightness in his chest easing as he focused on the rhythm of his breath, the pressure of Felix’s hands. He let Felix pull him into a tight hug, his warmth further grounding him, providing a sense of security. “Better?”, Felix asked gently next to Minho’s ear, his voice still filled with concern. Minho hummed in response, the sound low and exhausted, but the panic had subsided, leaving behind a deep sense of weariness and defeat. “Wanna tell me what happened?”, Felix asked patiently, willing to listen whenever Minho was ready to talk. 

His body tensed up, his muscles coiling tight like a spring ready to snap, but he was so tired of keeping everything locked inside, a burden too heavy to bear alone. For so long, he had kept the darkest parts of his life hidden from Felix, shielding the younger one from the horrific truth. Felix knew just the bare minimum; that Minho had lost his parents, that they had been murdered in cold blood, but nothing more. He didn’t know how they had died, the brutality of it, nor who had been responsible for ripping his world apart. He had never told Felix about the nights filled with terror, when he had been forced to break up with Jisung, when threats turned into reality, and fists left him black and blue when he didn’t obey. Felix knew only what was necessary, and even that felt like too much, like the weight of his truth might be more than either of them could handle. But now, the dam holding back his pain and fear was starting to break, and Minho was finally ready to let it all out. He was ready to tell Felix everything, the whole, ugly story and the twisted connection his ex had to the monsters who had destroyed his family. “The people who killed my parents”, Minho started, his voice barely a whisper, as he closed his eyes, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over at the mere thought of his family. His heart ached, the pain sharp and unyielding, as he shook his head, as if trying to shake off the suffocating grief. “Jisung’s family murdered my parents”, he choked out, the words slicing through the air like a blade. His voice wavered as the first tears began to roll down his heated cheeks, burning trails into his skin. He heard Felix gasp lightly beside him, the sound full of shock and disbelief, but Minho couldn’t bring himself to look at him, couldn’t bear to see the pity or horror in his eyes. “That’s a plot twist you didn’t expect, hm?”, he joked bitterly, his voice tinged with a hollow humor that did nothing to mask the depth of his despair. Felix, without missing a beat, reached out to gently wipe away Minho’s tears, his touch soft and comforting, before pulling him closer into a tight, protective hug. The warmth of the embrace seeped into Minho’s bones, a contrast to the cold emptiness he felt inside. “I’m really sorry you had to go through all of that, Min. What did he want from you? Was he involved in all of this?”, Felix asked, his voice gentle, filled with genuine concern, as he rocked Minho back and forth in a soothing rhythm, trying to calm the storm raging inside him. Minho clung to the comfort Felix offered, but the pain was still there, sharp and unrelenting.