just pretend.

35.

Minho’s heart clenched painfully as he took in the sight of Jisung and Felix asleep next to each other, bodies intertwined in an intimate tangle of limbs. He had searched the entire apartment, growing more anxious with each empty room he checked, and the numbing dread in his chest grew with every step that brought him closer to Felix’s door. He should have expected this, but seeing it with his own eyes drove the dagger of jealousy and betrayal deeper into his heart. The sight of Jisung and Felix cuddling so close made him feel like an intruder in his own home, and he stumbled backwards, nearly tripping over his crutches in his haste to leave. One of the crutches struck the wall with a loud thud, breaking the silence. Felix and Jisung bolted upright, their eyes darting around in sleepy confusion until they landed on Minho, standing in the doorway, gripping his crutches as if they were the only thing keeping him upright. “Sorry”, Minho mumbled, voice barely more than a whisper. He turned away quickly, not wanting to wait for their response or explanation. He didn’t want to know if there was something going on between them, if they were reconnecting in ways he wasn’t ready to face. He just wanted to disappear, to retreat into the safety of his own room where he could pretend none of this was happening. His legs felt heavy, each step a struggle as he tried to move away. He just wanted to put distance between himself and the pain that was clawing at his insides. But before he could get far, a warm hand settled on his shoulder, holding him back. “Min”, Jisung’s voice was gentle but commanding, sending a shiver down Minho’s spine. Minho shook his head, trying to hold back the hot tears that were threatening to run down his flushed cheeks. “Let it be”, he choked out, his voice filled with emotion. He kept walking, desperate to escape, but Jisung’s grip tightened slightly, keeping him in place. “I don’t wanna hear it”, Minho added, the tremor in his voice betraying the hurt he was feeling. Jisung sighed, rolling his eyes softly before guiding Minho gently against the wall between Felix’s office and his bedroom. Minho’s gaze remained stubbornly fixed on the opposite wall, unwilling to meet Jisung’s eyes. He felt Jisung’s fingers under his chin, lifting his face so that their eyes met. “Look at me”, Jisung urged, his tone both soothing and insistent. From the corner of his eye, Minho noticed Felix hovering in the doorway of his bedroom, concern etched on his face. Minho’s chest tightened as he looked into Jisung’s deep brown eyes, his breath hitching as he struggled to hold himself together. “Do you believe me when I say nothing happened between us?”, Jisung asked, his voice calm but filled with the grogginess of sleep. Minho felt a warmth spread from the spot where Jisung’s fingers held his chin, a tingling sensation that traveled down his neck, making his whole body tremble. He couldn’t trust his voice, but he managed a small nod, mesmerized by Jisung’s intense gaze and the steady grip he had on him. Jisung’s fingers traced slowly along Minho’s jawline and down to his collarbone, his touch leaving a trail of warmth that made Minho’s skin tingle. Minho caught a glimpse of Felix nodding from the doorway before retreating into his room, closing the door behind him to give them privacy. Relief rushed over Minho, loosening the knot in his chest. Jisung leaned in closer, their noses almost brushing, his breath warm against Minho’s lips. “Good, because nothing happened”, Jisung whispered, his voice firm yet gentle. He continued to trace light patterns on Minho’s collarbone, each touch sending a shiver through Minho’s body. Felix groaned sleepily from his room, and Jisung chuckled softly, his breath fanning over Minho’s face. Minho couldn’t bear the teasing closeness any longer; he wrapped his arms around Jisung’s neck and pulled him into a slow, desperate kiss. Jisung gasped softly against Minho’s lips, surprised by the sudden contact, but he quickly melted into the touch, his arms encircling Minho’s waist to keep him steady. The kiss was a quiet promise, a reassurance, and a release all at once. “Why didn’t you wake me?”, Minho asked, his voice breathless as he pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against Jisung’s. His eyes searched Jisung’s, looking for answers, for reassurance that this was real and not just another dream that would fade away. Jisung’s thumb brushed over Minho’s cheek, a soft, affectionate touch. “I didn’t want to. You need all the rest you can get after everything that has happened”, he explained, pressing a gentle kiss to Minho’s lips before guiding him slowly towards the kitchen. “And you need food”, Jisung added, his voice light as he opened the fridge and started pulling out ingredients. Minho settled onto the barstool, watching Jisung with a mix of fondness and admiration. He observed as Jisung moved around the kitchen, feeding Minho’s cats and then setting to work on breakfast. It was a simple, familiar routine, but it made Minho’s heart race all the same. There was something comforting about the way Jisung cooked, the way he moved and hummed softly under his breath, as if nothing had changed between them. “Do you want some onion in your eggs?”, Jisung asked, already chopping a small onion into thin cubes. Minho gave him a tired smile and nodded. He loved whenever Jisung made breakfast for him; it felt like a small piece of normalcy in the chaos of their lives. He wouldn’t dare to say no to whatever Jisung offered, savoring the moment as Jisung slid a plate of scrambled eggs in front of him, the aroma filling the room with a sense of warmth and home. For a while, they didn’t need to say anything more.