just pretend.

33.

Minho's tears streamed endlessly, and his chest felt like it was closing in on him. His thoughts were a tangled mess, and he struggled to keep his breathing steady as dizziness threatened to overwhelm him. In his desperation for a break from the relentless pain and negativity, he called Seungmin again, yearning for the comfort and warmth the younger had provided before. He missed Seungmin's humor, touch, and presence, hoping to find some relief from the suffocating sorrow. Minho's mind was a battlefield, tormenting him with relentless flashbacks of every horror he had endured. The night he tried to sneak into Jisung's room flashed before him, Wooyoung's cruel laughter echoing in his ears as he was beaten to the point of collapse. His thoughts spiraled into the darkest corners of his memory, dragging him back to the day he discovered his parents' blood covered bodies on the floor, their throats slit, both hugging each other. The raw agony of that moment gripped him again, the way he had screamed until his voice gave out, the endless investigations, and the cruel accusations that had followed. He couldn't escape it, his mind wouldn't let him. It threw him back to the first time he encountered Wooyoung after that night, then to the second time, when he had watched helplessly as Jisung was hurt. Each memory was like a knife, twisting deeper with every recollection. In his desperation, Minho tried calling Seungmin again, with trembling hands and unsteady breathing, but the silence on the other end only worsened his panic. Without Seungmin's comforting voice he was left trapped in a downward spiral of tormenting thoughts, with no way out. He forced himself out of bed, the pain in his injured leg sharp and unrelenting. And he wasn't even sure how he would manage to reach the door, but his desperation overpowered the pain. His hand trembled as he reached for the nurse call button, pressing it with more force than necessary. Seconds felt like hours as he waited, his breath coming in ragged gasps. When the door finally opened, he didn't even give the nurse a chance to greet him. "I need to get out of this room", he choked out, his voice filled with urgency. The nurse gave him a gentle smile and nodded without asking any questions. She quickly left the room, returning moments later with a wheelchair. Minho mumbled a quick "thank you" as she helped him into the chair, grateful for the brief respite from his racing thoughts. Once she was gone, the room fell silent again. His breath was still uneven, but the worst of the panic had faded, leaving him feeling drained. He sat there, gripping the armrests of the wheelchair, trying to steady himself and focus on anything other than the chaos inside his mind. A knock on the door snapped him out of his thoughts, and he instinctively turned his wheelchair around to see who it was. His heart skipped a beat when his gaze met Seungmin's eyes, wide with shock and filled with worry. Minho blinked, unable to believe what he was seeing. "Seungminnie", he mumbled, his voice a mix of surprise and overwhelming relief, as if the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders, just for a short moment. Seungmin crossed the room in a rush, his focus locked on Minho, not sparing a glance at anything else around him. He reached Minho and immediately wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. Minho could feel the tension in Seungmin's body, the way he was holding on to him as if afraid to let go. "We should never have let it come to this", Seungmin whispered, his voice wavering with emotion, pressing Minho against him with a grip that was both firm and tender, careful not to hurt him. His familiar scent was comforting, and Minho closed his eyes, letting himself melt into the warmth of Seungmin's body. "How did you know where I am?", Minho cried out quietly, his trembling hands finding a hold around Seungmin's neck. "Jeongin." Minho let out a shaky breath as tears ran down his flushed cheeks, feeling incredibly thankful for Jeongin.

After lunch in a small restaurant near the hospital, Seungmin brought Minho back to his room. The moment they crossed the threshold, Minho felt the familiar sense of entrapment wash over him. The sterile white walls, the constant hum of machines, it all made him want to escape, to go home, where Felix and his cats were waiting for him. He longed for the comfort of his own bed, the softness of Felix's voice, and the gentle purring of his cats curled up beside him. "Our lawyer is making sure the hearing is postponed until you're feeling better", Seungmin said, his voice gentle, as he helped Minho onto the bed. Seungmin was always looking out for him, always making sure he was taken care of, even after everything he did to him. Even though Seungmin knew Minho still had feelings for Jisung. Minho let Seungmin tuck him in, the younger one's hands careful as he adjusted the pillows and blankets. But when Seungmin turned to leave, Minho reached out, pulling him onto the bed. "Min", Seungmin protested, a flash of worry in his eyes, but the concern quickly softened as he allowed himself to be pulled closer. Minho sat up on the bed, his gaze fixed on Seungmin's face. His eyes began to glisten, tears slowly starting to brim in his brown eyes. The weight of everything that had happened, everything they had been through, hung heavy in the air. "I can't believe he did all of this", Minho whispered, his voice trembling with disbelief and sorrow. His body started to shiver, the emotions he had been holding back for a while were breaking free. "And for what? His business is ruined, and his wife is dead now." Seungmin gently reached out, taking Minho's hands in his, holding them tightly as if to ground him. "I know, Minho. But if we keep doing this a lot of families will seek justice", he heard him mumble, his voice calm and soothing. "Yeah, every family but mine", Minho cried quietly, feeling Seungmin's hand on his cheek, softly wiping his skin dry. The sudden urge to feel something different than pain and sorrow rushed over him like a wave that hit the coast, mercilessly and without a warning. Minho's grip tightened on Seungmin, one hand clasped around his wrist, the other clutching the fabric of Seungmin's shirt. The sudden urgency in Minho's movements caught Seungmin off guard, making him gasp softly in surprise. But before he could react, Minho's lips were on his, salty with the tears that had fallen. The kiss was tender and desperate, as though Minho was trying to pour all of his fears, frustrations, and sorrow into that one connection. Seungmin's initial surprise melted away as his arms instinctively wrapped around Minho's waist, the familiar taste, the touch, it all soothed the pain. This wasn't the first time they had found comfort in each other's touch, but it felt different now, more intense, more urgent. As their lips moved together, the world outside faded into the background, every noise and worry drowned out by the need to feel something real, something that wasn't the chaos of their lives. They kissed deeply, hungrily, each breath they stole only heightening the desperation of their connection. It was as if they were trying to escape everything that had gone wrong, to find some semblance of peace in each other's arms. When they finally broke apart for air, the brief separation only made the need to reconnect more intense. Their lips met again in a fervent, almost frantic kiss, their bodies pressing closer as if touch alone could ward off the darkness that surrounded them. In that moment, nothing else mattered. Not the hospital room, not the hearing, not the weight of the past few weeks. All that existed was the feeling of Seungmin's lips on his, the warmth of Seungmin's body against his own, and the shared need to hold onto this one good thing in a world that seemed to be crumbling around them. Seungmin slowly pulled away from the kiss, his eyes shut tight as if trying to block out the whirlwind of emotions crashing down on him. He shook his head, a silent struggle playing out behind his closed lids. Minho's breath hitched as the reality of what just happened sank in, and he released Seungmin from his desperate grip. "I'm sorry", Minho whispered, the words trembling on his lips. He had needed that kiss, the familiar comfort of Seungmin's touch, but now the guilt was beginning to creep in and he knew it was the last time. Seungmin opened his eyes, his expression gentle and understanding. He placed a comforting hand on Minho's left thigh, rubbing soft circles. "It's okay", Seungmin answered, his voice steady and soothing. "All of this is overwhelming; it was bound to happen and we both needed it. It's forgotten, okay?"