just pretend.

37.

The next few days dragged on without a single sign of Jisung, each passing hour deepening the void of uncertainty and emotional exhaustion that Minho felt. He had slept most of the day away, curled tightly in Seungmin's arms, the physical closeness offering him a small but fleeting sense of security. At least when he was asleep, the torrent of worry didn’t claw at him as viciously. But now, as the light faded and his body forced him into wakefulness, the weight of Jisung’s absence pressed down on him with even more intensity. “You need to eat something”, Seungmin said, his voice calm but carrying an edge of frustration. He had been patient all day, but Minho had refused both breakfast and lunch, dismissing Seungmin with short, irritable responses that only deepened his isolation. Minho burrowed further into the blanket pulled up to his chin, mumbling a weak, “I'm not hungry.” In truth, every thought of food churned his already tight stomach. Every second spent awake felt like living hell – a constant loop of spiraling thoughts about why Jisung had left. Was he alright? Had he just decided to leave without a word, abandoning Minho and their relationship? The thought made his chest tighten painfully. Or worse, was he in danger? Minho’s heart clenched at the idea that Jisung might be hurt – or worse. Was he even still alive? The fear that nagged at him made it impossible to even think about eating. But Seungmin wasn’t having it. Without a word, he gripped the edge of the blanket and, with a quick motion, ripped it off the bed. The sudden cold air hit Minho’s exposed body, leaving him shivering both from the temperature and the shock of it. “You’re getting this blanket back when you eat dinner”, Seungmin said firmly, though his voice remained soft, a mix of gentle care and sternness. He stood there, arms crossed, waiting for Minho to respond. Minho slowly sat up, glaring at Seungmin with a frustration born more from his own helplessness than any real anger toward his friend. Deep down, he knew Seungmin only wanted to help, and that made the guilt even heavier. He felt guilty for snapping at him, guilty for shutting down in front of someone who had stayed by his side night and day, trying so hard to take care of him. But the weight of his emotions was unbearable. The worry, the sadness, the physical pain – it all mixed together into a knot that even Seungmin couldn’t unravel. “Glare at me all you want”, Seungmin said, unfazed by Minho’s dark mood. “But you’re eating something now. Or else I’ll make sure you do.” There was no threat in Seungmin’s words, just a simple promise that Minho knew he wouldn’t be able to ignore. Minho swallowed, he knew Seungmin wasn’t bluffing. He nodded reluctantly, feeling a pang of resentment at how helpless he had become. Forcing food down his throat was the last thing he wanted to do, but if it meant Seungmin would leave him alone and he could go back to sleep – back to the only place where the thoughts weren’t so overwhelming – then he would do it. Anything to escape the unrelenting flood of worry, the ache of Jisung’s absence, and the helplessness that threatened to swallow him whole.

Felix had spent the entire day glued to his phone, calling hospitals one after another, desperately asking if there was anyone named Han Jisung admitted. Each time, the answer was the same – no sign of him. His voice grew more strained with each call, frustration bubbling under the surface, but he pressed on, determined to leave no stone unturned. Meanwhile, Changbin had taken to checking Jisung's apartment, looking for any sign that he had left in a rush, something, anything that might explain his sudden disappearance. But Jisung’s apartment was eerily untouched, as if he had simply vanished into thin air. None of his neighbors had seen him come or go. It was like he had been swallowed by the city itself. Seungmin had tried a different approach, going to Jisung's workplace to ask if he had called in sick or if anyone there had seen him. But just like Felix and Changbin’s efforts, that too led nowhere. Jisung hadn’t shown up, hadn’t called. There was no trail to follow, no clue to ease the growing dread that had settled over their group. Their options were running out, and the weight of each dead end pressed heavily on Minho’s chest, making it harder to breathe with each passing hour. In an attempt to escape the crushing anxiety, Minho decided to retreat from the world entirely. If sleeping was the only way to get through the pain, then that’s what he would do – sleep until Jisung magically appeared at his doorstep, safe and sound, like nothing had happened. Seungmin, however, wasn’t about to let him waste away. He handed Minho a tray with egg fried rice and a bottle of water, his expression leaving no room for argument. Minho stared at it for a moment, but the sudden hunger nagging at his insides became impossible to ignore. Despite his initial resistance, he devoured the food in mere minutes, his stomach grateful even if his mind was still clouded with worry. “Thank god, you ate!”, Felix exclaimed as he walked into the room, his eyes lighting up in relief when he saw Minho and Seungmin sitting together on the bed. The tension that had been hanging in the air eased slightly at the sight of Minho actually eating. “How did you do that? Tell me your ways”, Felix asked, directing the question toward Seungmin with a playful grin. Seungmin chuckled softly, brushing off the praise with a modest shrug. Minho, on the other hand, pouted in mock irritation, handing the empty tray to Felix and glaring at Seungmin until he finally got his blanket back. He pulled it over himself immediately, feeling a sudden wave of embarrassment for how he had acted. He mumbled a quiet, “Thank you”, his voice softer, more vulnerable. “For everything.” Seungmin rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face was genuine. “Just don’t be a dumbass and take better care of yourself”, he scolded lightly, though there was clear concern in his tone. “You need the energy for whatever’s coming in the next few weeks. And for your recovery, alright?” Minho nodded, tugging the blanket up to his chin again, wanting to disappear under its warmth and hide from the world. He knew Seungmin was right. His recovery, both physical and emotional, was still far from over, and whatever was waiting for them once they found Jisung and once the hearing started – it would take everything he had to face it.