L.M.I. My Second Tenderness

Chapter 31: John's Weep

Chapter 31: John's Weep

At 10: 30 PM, we arrived at the hospital then there the doctors rushed Lian to the operating room to check of Lian's condition if she can still survive while we wait at the hallway for any updates. I was still crying that moment, but Zac kept strengthening me. Zac said, "Lian will survive, you gave me strength when I was sad, so then, I'll do the same to you."

While I was alone, and Zac with Cruz was at a coffee shop near the hospital, and my brother went to the chapel to pray. I wrote a poem while sitting in a bench.

Sitting Here, Waiting For You:

"Is it the world that hurts the people intentionally?
   Or does all of this happen from a coincidence?
The wind is so cold, so does the night, so dark. 
   You feel to join the night sky mourning deeply through thy arms are gone.
The eyes that hints the appearance of reality.
    Does this hinder to give me a happy and splendid life?
Am I too selfish and ambitious for me to lost all luck in this world?
    Did God just remove the greatness of mine through a massive storm?
    Did I mess something up? Was this world so cold that I lament, hoping for a just community, that everywhere and everyone would share what they have?
    To those fellow people that are like my heartaches. It is not for me to stop walking in the wilderness.
Though, my art of poetry would contribute to release my anxiety and sadness. I wept so hard that I felt someone speaking to me in a fictional way.
     Just because I lost someone, it meant to me that I lost my life, I lost an island full of joy and sweetness.
      Therefore, I open my eyes to look again to see the truth, to set me free.
       And again, release me from the imprisonment of mourning. It won't end in itself.
       Thus I will bring back that colorful life. However, a motion has changed since the past already talked before but the present will talk again to construct a new beginning, we might never expect to be.
        Cast my shadow to the ground! Let it tell me what movement I must do. For what the shadow does, so to the body follows. I might think this is upside down.
        But this time, I want my shadow to speak for me, because of the heart that keeps weeping until this event becomes nonsense that I became addicted in sadness.
         A love never dies. Even in the lost forest, love still exists.
          And to set apart two beings that were joined to one, that I can't accept to happen then.
         Be still, I have myself controlled. Do what is right and everythings gonna fix like the past.
         To the heavens above, where I am destined to be, to connect this love from the earth to there.
         Which I buried deep enough that no one can touch.
         A meeting place up above, to wait for the time, that you and I, will be one!"

After about 1 hour of writing this, the doctors eventually looked for a relative of Lian. So I stood and went near the doctor. The doctor asked if I am a relative of Lian. I said, "Yes, I'm his boyfriend." Then I asked the doctor, "How is she?" The doctor said that Lian is now fine. She survived and all she need is too rest. I was so happy hearing it that I almost lost all the problems I was carrying because I found out that the one I love the most is now safe. I kept saying to the doctor, "Thank you so much doctor" while the doctor was just smiling to me. Then he eventually left me while I was so happy hearing Lian survived.

I went then to the room where Lian is. As I opened the door, I am the only person to arrive there. She is still unconscious while I myself ran to her side, weeping. I keep whispering words like, "Lian, don't dare to leave me." and "I'm already here Lian, we are already safe now." I then took her hand and kissed it as a sign of my everlasting love for her. Then she eventually opened her eyes, with tears. I yelled to call for a nurse to assist her. Then as the nurses arrived, Cruz, Zac and my brother as well came in. Then Lian looked at me saying, "I'm alive now!"

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