Me and Marcus

Chapter 23

From: Trevor

Want to hang out today? :)

I gaped my mouth opened. I didn't even tell him goodbye. He is gonna hate me! I opened my window of the moving truck and stuck my hand out. I didn't even tell Marcus goodbye. Our only goodbye was him telling me that, he loved me. I can't believe it.

I loved him too.

We only dated for such a small time but it all was so great and it all had meanings and we seemed so, unbreakable. I just had to get all bitchy with him. What if I never saw him again? Or I found another man? I can't imagine that happening, but what if I do? Will I forget all about this?

"Here we are," said the guy driving me to my new house in the big truck. I looked at the house and it seemed nothing like my last one. I got out of the truck and walked to the front door. My mom picked this house for me, which sucked. I don't even know why she is giving me a house. I should be in an apartment away from life. But you see, my mom had lots of money. She was the owner of this company which I didn't know a lot about. I just knew she spent a lot of her money on clothing and sometimes, me. It's not like I asked for stuff, she just gives it too me like a present or something.

I opened the front door to the house and walked in. A living room was on my left which had a connecting kitchen. I walked over to the back doors in the kitchen and saw a huge backyard. I left the kitchen and went down the hall which had two bedrooms, and office, and the bathroom coming off of it. It was a good house. It was bigger than my last one, but it just seemed more, empty.

3 hours later.

I was sitting on my bed. Alone. Bored. Deprived. Wishing for Marcus. I know I broke up with him I guess, but he never wanted it that way. Poor Marcus. I probably broke his heart. But he should have been putting enough effort into the relationship as me. Oh who am I kidding. This is all my fault. I was controlling Marcus. I'm so stupid.

We would have been perfectly fine. I shouldn't have ended us. I missed Marcus so much. So, so, so much. I miss his caring words. I miss his warm arms. I miss everything about him. And I wasn't even sure if I was going to see him again. I was so fucking unstable.

I started to cry because I needed to release this negativity from my body. I let all the pain flow out as tears. But it wasn't helping. I need to do something. Something I haven't done in a long them. Something I was going to regret. I got out of my bed and went to my kitchen. I got a pair of scissors. I grit my teeth and cried, and one, two, three cuts on my wrist. Blood started pouring out and it got everywhere. On my clothes, on my floor. It was awful. But I didn't care. This was my way of releasing the pain. Marcus was supposed to be the one to take away my pain. Not this sharp pair of scissors. I stood up and started making my way to the bathroom.
  
  As I walked to the sink I heard a knock on my door. This idiotic person who was knocking decided they would keep knocking rapidly even after ignored the first knocks.

I couldn't even clean off my arm because the knocking was so urgent. I grabbed a few paper towels and held down on my wrist. I rolled my eyes with tears still in them and prayed it wasn't my mom. I grabbed the door knob with the arm I didn't cut on and pulled open the door to find...

"M-Marcus..?" Tears kept building up quickly and I tried not to let them come in front of him. How did he get my address?

"L-Lola, what happened?" He asked pointing to my bloody wrist. I gasped and put it behind me, not letting him look at it.

"Were you...cutting again?" He said coming closer to me. I backed away with a disgusted look on my face. I had to act like I didn't want to fall into his arms. I needed to stay strong for myself. I'm not going to act like I need him, even though I feel like I do.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"Lola is this because of me? Am I doing this too you?" He asked holding out his hand and then taking mine to look at my wrist.

"No Marcus! This is, because," I pulled hand back. "I just couldn't stand being away from you. But I'm mad at you. And I felt this was all my fault." I sniffed. "And I thought all this stuff- just...just go. You hurt me. Leave. I'm a mess." I let a tear drop out. I turned and left going to the bathroom. I went to the sink and looked myself in the mirror. My eyes were puffy. I had some blood on my forehead from touching there. I looked depressed. I felt depressed. I looked away and rinsed off my wrist. Letting all the blood and sadness go down there drain.

I heard Marcus walk into the bathroom and I quickly dried off my wrist with the towel. I turned around to leave and I came face to face with him. I looked away from his eyes, because I didn't want to fall back into something I would regret.

"We need to talk." He said and I nodded, walking past him and into the living room. He followed and he sat on the couch opposite from the one I was on. We made eye contact a for a quick second but we both looked away.

"Why did you come here?" I asked him wanting an answer I wouldn't cry about. I have done enough crying today and it's all I'm taking.

"To see you, and to apologize. Because I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never cared about the relationship like you and I was stupid and I just, I regret not caring about the problems." He played with his hands and fingers.

"Marcus, I missed you. All those nights after, when I was alone. I missed you. I cried for you. But every single day I would remember what you said to me. I didn't want you. But then I would go to sleep at night and cry for you all over again." I confessed letting him know how I felt after that fight. Marcus looked at me with sad eyes and nodded.

"Me too." I opened my mouth but then closed it. We stayed silent again until he stood up and came over to me to hug me. I didn't hug back. Instead I thought of everything. Everything about us. I thought of the day we met, the dates, the babysitting, the fights, all of it. Then I let it out.

"I love you Marcus. I'm so sorry." I mumbled into his shirt as we stood close embracing the moment in each other's arms.

"I love you too Lola. I have to tell you something though." He quietly added. We pulled away from the hug and Marcus looked away. I began to worry because that perfect moment was ruined.

"What?" I sat back down on the couch and he took a seat next to me. He grabbed my hands and looked me in the eyes.

"Your mom, she said, we can't date anymore. Because she thought I broke your heart and I promised I wouldn't Lola and, and I thought I didn't but, honestly I don't know what to do." He explained. I closed my eyes and sighed. Whenever we have an issue, it leads back to my mom. She shouldn't have even let me leave the house to live on my own. I should just go be her little 7 year old daughter who can't even cross the street on her own.

"Who cares what my mom says Marcus? This is my life right?" I asked. He nodded and let go of my hands. "I can do what I want." I said proudly.

"Nice house you have." I rolled my eyes but smiled. I was still waiting on him to ask me. Or give me a clue. Or kiss me. Or something to at least tell me we are together again.

"So..." He murmured. I mentally slapped him in my head. He wasn't making any moves am so I guess I had to give him a start.

"So like, what are we?" I asked widening my eyes expecting the perfect answer.

"Friends with benefits?" He laughed. I sighed and sat back on the couch.

"Lola, will you be my girlfriend?" He rolled his eyes grinning and asking. I shot up and nodded rapidly.

"Of course Marcus!" I exclaimed. Then I stopped smiling. I sagged my shoulders.

"What?" Marcus wondered.

"We live 3 hours away from each other. I don't want a long distance relationship with you! I want to be able to cuddle with you all the time and snuggle and be in your arms. And-"

"I could move in with you." He interrupted. My face lit up like a child on Christmas.

"Yay! I get to life with Marky!" I chanted. He laughed and I hugged him like a little girl. My mom is going to hate me! But I really don't care because I have my Marcus.

~~~
Sigh. Yeah. I don't know how many more chapters I'm doing. Lol

Bye Felicia