So Sweet And So Bitter

XXX.

> Mingyu <

Today I woke up tired.

With my night full of vivid dreams I spent it waiting for my body to wake up. Living multiple lives during the night and remembering almost all of them the morning after is quite torturing.

They're not pleasant dreams. Filled with tension and anxiety I can't help but wait for the night to end. Dream after dream, the memory of all the feelings involved gets more and more overwhelming.

And now that is almost evening, I can feel myself needing to rest, my mind tired of working is struggling to not shut down.

I went to work today and now I'm walking on a footpath in the middle of the woods, waiting for Wonwoo's familiar figure to show up behind one turn or after the other. I hope that the lack of rest isn't visible on my facial features, seeing as this morning my eye bags stood out more than a bruise ever did.

I don't get what's the problem with myself, I never had any problems with dreams but ever since I came back from Thailand every night has been worse than the previous. And not to mention Wonwoo appearing in almost all of them. His name, his face, his voice. They don't appear directly but subtly and disguised as something else.

I let the warm weather distract me from my thoughts as the humid air mixed with my fast paced walking make me feel the sweat under the thin layer of my clothes.

I look around searching for the old oak under which there should be a bench where Wonwoo said he'd be waiting for me.

As I recall it is the only oak in this area, the forest is mostly made of pine trees of all kinds so it shouldn't be difficult to spot it. Even more so, seeing as it's located near where we produced the photoshoot a few months ago.

I see the only colorful tree in the middle of all the green, the pink petals of its flowers standing out against the bright colors of the pines. My heart pounds loudly in my chest making me feel its pulse in my neck as I walk towards my partner.

He's wearing a shirt slightly tucked in ordinary blue jeans, a camera hangs from his neck and he's looking inside of it through the shots he must have taken. I glance at the bag containing the coffee and pastries I got for us, hoping they haven't cooled by now and continue walking in his direction thinking of Minghao's words from yesterday night.

"Mingyu hello?"  My best friend says answering the phone. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes..." I say as my head spins from tiredness.

"Why are you calling this late?" I glance at the clock sitting on the bedside table, its hand points at one a.m.. Minghao is in China right now so it's still midnight for him, but still, it's pretty late for a phonecall.

"I'm sorry I didn’t mean to wake you or Junhui" I rub my fingers on my eyes suddenly forgetting why I felt the need to call Hao at this time of the night.

"It's okay he hasn't come home yet "

"You're waiting for him?"

"Yeah, he's on a work dinner" He says and I don't miss the tired sigh he lets out. I can feel it through the phone, the frustration and exhaustion that isn't merely physical. He's mentioned his worries about their relationship before but he never complains or goes too deep about them, and in the end he ends up always somehow praising Jun although I can feel it that in his heart all of it hurts him.