So Sweet And So Bitter

XIX.

> Wonwoo <

I watch as Seungkwan, Jeonghan and Mingyu finish their scene. It's a simple scene, but it shows the friendship between their characters.

"What are you smiling about?" Vernon who is standing next to me asks.

"Nothing"

I continue to look at the bronze-skinned man who is acting just a few meters away from me. I would be lying to myself if I didn't admit that Mingyu's been the only thing and person to keep me sane and steady this last month. At first, I thought that I wouldn't be able to get out of my grief, that I would stay stuck in a loop of breakdowns and blocking everything just to feel nothing, but, even though I feel guilt as I feel myself move on, I also feel like a knot has been released from my stomach as I think that I'm finally starting to reach the light of this dark tunnel.

My mother was a great woman, she raised me and my brother with love and responsibility and never made us feel as if we were missing something. She allowed me to pursue my dream and follow my passion. I wouldn't be here if she hadn't pushed me to accept Pledis' offer, she made everything that I have in my life possible. Now it's my turn to honor her and cherish her memory, and I know she would hate to see me like this.

Mingyu starts walking towards me, a smile on his face as he approaches me. I glance at Vernon who is side-eyeing me teasingly and roll my eyes at him.

"Have you finished?" I ask him and he takes my left hand, playing with my fingers.

"Yeah" He answers with a low voice, probably timid, as usual, after knowing that we watched him act.

"You did great" I smile at him, finding his behavior adorable for a grown man.

"Thank you" He sits next to me. "Um... are you free tonight?" I look at him confused at the sudden question but nod nonetheless.

"You remember Jiwon, our neighbor... she opened a restaurant near our apartment, and she invited us"

"Really?" I ask, not at all surprised that he became friends with our neighbor.

"Yeah, we met last night in the elevator"

"Is that why the pizza was cold when you came home?" He scratches his neck and smiles apologetically, and I roll my eyes jokingly, finding his friendliness cute.

"Do you want to go tonight?" I ask him and his eyes light up with enthusiasm as he snacks on some peanuts.

- - -

"Are you ready?" I call for Mingyu, waiting on the sofa with Loki on my lap as she purrs, helping me ease the nervous feeling I can sense filling the inside of my stomach.

"In a second!" His voice comes from the other room.

"Which one...?" I hear him whisper to himself as I get up and pique inside of the half-opened bathroom. I see he's standing in front of the mirror in just a tank top, holding an elegant cream-colored shirt in one hand and comparing it to the blue polo shirt he's holding in the other hand. His face is perplexed and he keeps saying 'no' under his breath.

"I like the lighter one" I say as I keep watching him, he jumps a little in surprise and looks at himself again, before taking his white top off revealing the tan skin under it. I lower my gaze feeling self-conscious because of my last week's actions, I have no idea what was wrong for me to act so recklessly, and thinking about what he must have thought or felt gives me goosebumps... I hope he forgave me for being so impulsive.

When he has put his shirt on he glances at me and I walk back into the living room with my ears burning.

"Bye Loki" I take the kitten in my hands and hug it, leaving a kiss next to her ear. Mingyu smiles at her as I keep her on me for a second more.