What is this feeling? (Marianas Trench FanFic)

Chapter 3 JKR1712

I went home after I took an Advil.

I was sitting alone in my room and it hit me. I was craving cocaine. I think I'm addicted.

I'm 15 I self harm and I'm a cocaine addict. I know it's wrong but it feels so right.

My craving got worse for both things. I got my blade and cocaine and did my thing.

I felt like everything was perfect. Nothing in the world could go wrong. Even though my parents still hated me and would barely talk to me.

I turn on my laptop and open YouTube. Someone posted a new video. The user JKR1712 posted a new video of himself singing a song he wrote called primetime. This song sounded amazing I'm not sure if it was his voice or the song but either way it sounded awesome.

I thought to myself. That could be me sometime. I had an idea.

I grabbed my camera and guitar. I pressed record on the camera and began singing

"The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful

Stop me and steal my breath.

And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky

Never revealing their depth.

Tell me that we belong together,

Dress it up with the trappings of love.

I'll be captivated,

I'll hang from your lips,

Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above.

I'll be your crying shoulder,

I'll be love's suicide

I'll be better when I'm older,

I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

And rain falls angry on the tin roof

As we lie awake in my bed.

You're my survival, you're my living proof.

My love is alive and not dead.

Tell me that we belong together.

Dress it up with the trappings of love.

I'll be captivated,

I'll hang from your lips,

Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your crying shoulder,

I'll be love's suicide

I'll be better when I'm older,

I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

And I've dropped out, I've burned up, I've fought my way back from the dead.

I've tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said

I'll be your crying shoulder,

I'll be love's suicide

I'll be better when I'm older,

I'll be the greatest fan of your...

I'll be your crying shoulder,

I'll be love's suicide

I'll be better when I'm older,

I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

The greatest fan of your life.

...greatest fan of your life."

I stopped recording and plugged my camera into my computer. I clicked the upload button on YouTube and selected the video. And clicked upload.

3 minutes after I uploaded it, it had one comment. From JKR1712. It's said "awesome ".

I started to fangirl.

~4 weeks later~

I saw on Facebook that JKR1712 is going to rehab. I continued reading. When I got to the line that said "herion and self harm". I stopped. I froze. I couldn't believe it. It couldn't be true. Below the writing was a picture of him. The guy from the party.. That's him, JKR1712.