I wake up. My bed feels like it's wet. I get to bed early last night. I cried a lot and I did it again... I just did it again. I don't want to do that. I really don't but I can't control it.
I can't control myself anymore.
I can't control my emotions.
I cry while doing my makeup. I can't go to school today. I am sorry, I really tried but I can't.
My hip hurts so bad and I cry all the time. I told my mother to call the school..I really can't go there. I just can't.
I lay in my bed. I barely eat. I have no energy. I watch my TV shows and I cry. I cry a lot. And I open my drawer and I do it again...again....again.... again...
I can't control it!
Mum I am sorry.
Dad I am sorry.
But I think I slowly loose myself. I loose myself in that whole... My biggest fear.
I try to sleep. I really try but I can't...my eyes are hurting and I cry and I open that drawer and it feels right.... I can't stop! Please!
I scream....
I scream but nobody hears me.
I scream again.... I lost.
I am sorry... But I lost the fight. I lost the fight between me and myself. I lost.... I am sorry.
I wished it would be different but it isn't. I am not enough. The boy I met hates me. I have no real friends. Nobody cares and I am the problem all the time.
Shira do this and do that!
Shira...
I scream!
PLEASE
HELP
ME
OUT!
And then I wake up, next morning, a school morning.
And I do everything like nothing happend. Because nothing happened right? It was all in my head so it's not real right?
But the scars on my body tell their own side of the story.
I cover them up with concealer and I cry.
No one saw me at my worst because I don't think that isn't the worst thing that could happen.
There is something more worse waiting and somehow I know that I will know that sooner than I want to.
And the circle of life starts again.
Again
Again
Against me
I want to get out of this whole.
Why is there nobody hearing my screams. Why does nobody care? And why does he not show in my beaks.
I just wanna sleep... I am tired.
YOU ARE READING
You were everything...
RomanceHey, this is a story about loss, sadness and epic love. I hope you like the story about Caleb and Shira. I can't wait to see what you think. But I need to tell you about the triggers Triggers: -loss of a loved one -selfharm -depression -sexual scen...
